It’s February 1, 2020. In the simplest terms life has been nothing but a cluster fuck. I just don’t seem a reason to keep living. I have relapsed on many occasions. I found this website in hopes of finding people that will understand what it’s like to just want to give up on life. I can’t seem to wrap my head around this. But basically I’m a lesbian and my girlfriend of 2 years was cheating on me. She told me to kill myself before she left me so now I’m honestly considering it. I don’t believe in heaven of hell. I think that when you die your spirt just sits around the world and watch the rest of everyone fuck up everything even more. Oh well thats my nightly thought- lilsuicideangle007
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I’m very sorry for your pain. People never cease to amaze me at how rotten they can be! Please don’t consider for 1 second doing something so permanent because your loveless, self-centered, hateful ex-girlfriend said to! I know it’s very painful. Work through it, with love. Allow yourself to grieve. Let your tears come out as much as they need to. Although there are destructive and ugly people who want to mame and destroy out there, there are also those who want what is best for you. There are some genuine, loving and encouraging ones too! Look for them. Real LOVE will find you if you ask for it.
If you are not afraid to ask or receive. Right now might not be the moment to ask or it could be the perfect time to ask. You don’t have to accept the worst from people. If you still love your ex, forgive her and wish her the best. That’s all we can do. I know I am guilty of saying some things I wish I never had. I think many of us have done that in anger. Out of passion, emotions can be so strong in either direction! My guess is that you gave more in your relationship. Just a guess.
Give yourself time for you. You are worth so much more than you think or know. I am praying for you!