I woke up, again. into the world where that wouldn’t leave a space for me, to be filled with hatred and anger and disappointment and sadness as everything rushes their way back in again. Yet I know that it’s my fault, but I can’t help to long to be loved.i know I’ll never be, I know because I can’t even put up with loving myself.
I woke up again, for the 5621st time in my life. The sky is gray, I need to go, but to do what? For what?
to work towards a future for myself that’ll only satisfy people around me. Yet the only beautiful future I see is the one without me.
i had a dream, a wonderful dream, where everything went away and I thought the suffering is coming to an end, and I woke up.
the same eggshell walls, light green floral bedding, the same world as always. My eyes were burning. I’ve been crying during the dream. everything was so real.