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I now avoid this place because it kinda brings me moredown than the hope and light I feel I can bring to it. But I don’t know where else I can write this and keep it somewhat personal.
I feel like people love me. And that is good. I was so afraid people hated me and couldn’t stand me. I feared people wanted to kill me even. At some point the paranoia had taken over me, but it wasn’t true. I’m not a monster. I’m not evil. I’m not that horrible of a human being despite how I may have felt. There’s people who love me. My mother loves me. And I am doing ok. Thanks for life to have given me a second chance. If you’re reading this far and are planning on killing yourself don’t. Tommorow may be the day you overcome depression. And trust me, that will make life worth living. Hoping for a cure. Carlos out. No song today. Instead this video of how I kind of feel at the moment. Only difference is I don’t feel like a diamond, I feel inferior. But, I’m sure with time I’ll overcome that. I hope I can watch the full season of Steven universe future that show is awesome. My ex used to love it, now I know why. To bad he lives too far, I think I loved him without knowing. Kinda still would love to be straight. But that is another story. Carlos out

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morieris 3/30/2020 - 3:20 am

Hope you wouldn’t have a relapse. Keep up the positivity! Kinds helps me too.

Ennui 3/30/2020 - 7:37 am

I feel you. Wish I was straight too.

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