I’m kinda obsessed by suicide now, I just think of it all the time. Anyway even though I really wish to kill myself, just the fact that I have a survival instinct makes me too damned scared to jump out the windows or go on the railway, even if I see the train coming and that the next one is in 2 hours. I wish this crappy country could legalize guns. I would get one and shoot myself instantly, I mean, its just a little move of your finger and then its done. It sounds waayyyyy less scary than seeing the train come and jump under. I had the courage (or cowardness I dont know) to try and jump undrr it when I saw it coming, and I missed it by a few seconds. F $ck!