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Hurt

by careforme

So lately I’ve been going through a lot my depression is really killing me and my family isn’t helping I’m 20 years old and I’m honestly trying to get out on my own but every time I have money I’ve got to give it up because my dad is in need of ciggeretts or we need food or for bills which im okay for the bills and food since I live here but for ciggeretts and other stupid stuff they honestly don’t need they are always up and leaving never saying where they are going so im at home withtheir 2 kids who are really direspectful to me which I can handle don’t get me wrong its how they treat me is so disrespectful I had health issuee a while back and I had to be let go from the job and he got so pissed off because I left my job but my health issues were more important then a job at the time latey my dad’s girlfriend has been really rude with me and it doesnt matter what I say and do I just get yelled at for it all or get named called and thats something I dont go for like today my sister told me her mom called me lazy because I didnt do dishes last night because of being tired. I honestly don’t know what to anymore I don’t want to live anymore.

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4 comments

ElenaForest 3/24/2020 - 5:40 pm

Thats a tough situation, how about you secretly save money(if you decide to hide them at home than hide them really well cause once my father found my secret spot..) and then move out without a warning to your father. About his gf, she’s a scum she wont change try not to get hurt by her, by accepting her as she is, a scum. I have family issues but my own mom is actually acting like your father’s girlfriend and far worse than her… It hurts that my biological mom would do this, and my dad.. Oh well he’s a monster.. But that’s a long story.. You are brave, I’m glad that you shared this, it encouraged me and i hope this will encourage you as well, you have to be very brave and strongly vigilant, you will get out of this, be calm and make a plan, save your money even if its a dollar at a time(since he’s taking your money for cigs), just don’t give up, i see you and honestly I’m proud of the effort you’re making, it inspires me to do better, im in the process of moving out from home(after many suicide attempts i decided not to give my father the pleasure of my death, since he’d be happy to see me dead) so its tough but im working on it.. Im sending you luck and love. You are not alone in this.

careforme 3/31/2020 - 11:57 pm

It’s definitely tough on me and I’m struggling every day and I”ll totally take that advice and I would have a place to go but it’s my sisters who’ve I raised since birth to leave them behind just makes me feel like a horrible person makes me feel like I’m abandoning them since they are basically mine but aren’t if you know what I’m saying I’m sorry you’re going through things as well I know it’s not easy but you seem like a brave person who can get through it and I’m glad I could share my story sometimes it’s hard for me to talk about my problems but on this sight, no one knows me so they can’t really judge you know and ill send you some luck and love too hope things get better for you thanks for replying back this helps

Deadstar7 3/25/2020 - 9:50 pm

Sometimes as much as you may love family and just hate the situation or certain people, the entire thing is just toxic.

You aren’t alone in your feelings and you are too young to want to give up the hope of a better situation and life. It is hard to focus on anything other than the negativity surrounding you from what you say. But I agree that you aren’t responsible for all of these things your family needs. You should put yourself and your well-being first. Save money as you can and try to stay focused on the dreamed that come with being on your own and making a life for yourself. A positive one.

It may not be the abuse people think of, but your situation undoubtedly takes a toll on you. Moving away could be you fighting to save your own life. You know how you feel now and if you are here I am sure you know where all of that negativity leads. There’s are other ways out.

Find it, focus on it, and slowly work towards it. Take your mind out of the negativity when you feel yourself spiraling and focus on the better future in your sight. One day it will be a reality and you can thank yourself for working to get you there. One step at a time.

careforme 4/1/2020 - 12:00 am

thank you so much this meant a lot to know people are out there to help and not judge but I will definitely take this advice with me

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