So interesting thought here ive struggled with suicide/ depression over half of my life. I finally found some help that actually worked(anyone wants to know just ask). So after that, i got thrown back into the same situation before i got help and my depression was at its worst. Most people i think tend to either fight that darkness or don’t know how to embrace it without the crippling self pity. After I had my emotions played with last time, think i have found my balance of embracing the darkness and pain without the need for self harm. I fully accept it and am coming to enjoy it now,i love my darkness everyone else can fuck off.
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Can I ask? I’ve tried every at home therapy option I could find. I’ve tried therapy. I’ve tried medication and it’s all doing nothing. The only thing that helps is drinking and getting high but that’s apparently “wrong” and “bad”
I figured out it has to be a combination of everything. The biggest help was therapy,look up dialectical behavioral therapy it’s a different kind of therapy it’s very structured mapped out way of dealing with yourself and the only therapy that really helped. The next part is the medication, after i got a legitimate diagnosis of what’s really wrong with me(turns out i have bi polar 2), we we’re able to find a medication that works. So i took the part of me that’s healing and added the part of me that loves to party, drink and get high and all that put together. Ive come to fully accept and embrace the dark thoughts because that’s all they are is thoughts. It’s fucking awesome!
1) ive heard of that therapy as it is the one most suggested for my diagnoses (which still isnt final but im fairly confident its correct by watching my behavior) and ive looked into it and am working on trying it myself at home but once i started drinking i kinda fell off that wagon. hopefully it comes back for me at some point though. lol
2) ive tried 3 medications and still havent found anything. my next appointment for that isnt until the end of june depending on how this virus shakes out.
Figuring out meds is the worst part, i don’t even know how many i tried before i found something that actually helps more than it fucks with you. It’s a nightmare
may i ask what helps you? my doc keeps asking what i want to do and i have no fricking idea. like you prescribe me meds, youre the doc. you figure it out. anyway ive had rispredone, olanzapine and brexpipazole. just so you know what not to suggest. also i have borderline personality and i think (self diagnoses after extensive research on trusted websites. like i read actually studies doctors do) depersonalization derealization dissociation disorder.
When i was asked what i wanted i remember i just wanted balance, i knew i wanted to die i just didn’t want the urge to do it every single second i was awake. As far as getting the right diagnosis that method of therapy requires at least 3-4 hours a week in private and group settings so i spent allot of time with my therapist and she got to observe her clients closely. That gives them the chance to really see your behaviors, analyze and diagnose as opposed to just talking to someone about how you feel for an hour and saying “well it could be a number of things so let’s try this”. I’m not currently on any you’ve tried yet, pretty sure i was on at least two of those at one point. Right now im taking pristiq and it works really well with no side effects.
the first time he asked me i blanked because i had basically shut down. if i get stressed and people start asking questions, i can know the answer i can even say the answer in my head but all i can verbally say is “idk” so when he asked what i wanted i gave the generic answer of “to get better” and he smiled so i think i said the right thing lol.
my therapist gives me 50mins every 2 weeks. and she skipped out on my last appointment because of covid. the office was closed with no way to get ahold of anyone and she never got ahold of me so idk.
ill look into the pristiq though.
DBT is the most recommended for borderline.
i noticed. but after the first step i didnt understand much else about it.
mindfulness: the practice of being in the present and acknowledging thoughts, feelings and behaviours as they happen, without trying to control them
distress tolerance: the process of learning how to cope during a crisis, especially when it is impossible to change, and accepting a situation as it is, rather than how it should be
interpersonal effectiveness: the ability to ask for what a person needs and to say no when necessary, while still maintaining self-respect and relationships with others
emotion regulation: the ability to manage emotions so that they do not control thoughts and behaviours.
well reading it that way it makes more sense. what the hell was i reading before!? or was i high…..im not sure it was forever ago XD
What it doesn’t say is that in between each of the main modules emotional regulation, distress tolerance and interpersonal effectiveness you review mindfulness again each time. And i do have the teachers handbook my therapist gave me when i completed it if anyone wants to know more
oh! oh! i want to know more! me! me! i do! i do! lol
Very funny
i thought it was lol. i got a kick out of it thats for sure
That made my day
awesome
I cooked my shoe in the dryer and ate it now im bored.
did you try cooking your hat in the microwave? it comes out with a nice crisp to it
Lmao. If only I could cook; if I tried we would have a step-shoe-virus. Lol
I’m getting hungry.
There is actually a version of this embracing that some people use to stop chronic physical pain. It does work for them.
An embracing of the physical pain so you can change your brain feels it? I think most people on here have already done that…