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Ghosts

by J Doe

I think the worst thing about being ghosted is that there isn’t really anything to do about it. It just is what it is. Deep down I hope for another shot just to hear her voice, but I’m pretty sure I’ve run out of shots. It’s funny that 70% of that friendship was so stressful thinking about what she was doing and hoping she was ok and wondering why she wasn’t picking up my calls and wondering if I said anything wrong. But for that sweet 30%, it was just nice to hear her voice. To know that she was there. Neither of us were particularly good at being comforting or supportive. How could we? We both had our own anxiety and problems. Her problems were a lot larger than mine. That’s why I tried to be so patient. Oh well. It’s been a little over three days since I’ve last tried to contact her. I left the door open so she can come back, but if she wanted to, she would have picked up or texted back all those times. I think this is the final one. Funny thing is I wanted to see her in person so bad. To just see her. I would have liked to spend her birthday with her, and try to make her happy on that day. I guess high school graduation was really the last time I would ever see her. I scheduled a therapy appointment for the 22nd. I think learning I had atychiphobia was that missing puzzle piece. Now I know what I can focus on. The place I know where to chip away at. Not the vagueness of depression or anxiety. But a concrete fear to look into.

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Abnormal.Thoughts 4/8/2020 - 1:07 am

A quote from a song I was introduced to during counseling, “may you find friends worth having, with every year passing they mean more than gold.”
I hope that it works out for you, good friends are hard to find. Also, best wishes on conquering your inner demons. I’m a very logical based person so whenever I have been diagnosed with something all holds are off on researching. Not sure if it helps but maybe.

Your future friend 4/8/2020 - 3:46 am

Fear is a stronger binding than any rope. But its strength comes solely from its shrouded nature. Knowing is half the nattle, and a warrior you must be indeed.

DOA 4/8/2020 - 2:46 am

Fear of failure? Honestly I googled it hehe. Anyway the best thing I can tell you is failing is a chance to try again. A chance to learn. A chance to improve. If humans were perfect at everything then we’d be emotionless robots now wouldn’t we 😛

deadman 4/8/2020 - 10:45 am

Just a different viewpoint for you to consider… True friends are the ones who give you space when you need it. So be a true friend and give her space.

I have both ghosted and been ghosted by so many friends I lost count. The true friends come back years later, or accept me back years later, as if no time had ever passed. No questions, no judgment, no expectations.

DOA 4/8/2020 - 12:18 pm

Deadman is right. I completely disappeared from my friends without a trace. And the 2 friends I liked I messaged them 3-5 years later, they were just happy to know I’m ok. 🙂

J Doe 4/8/2020 - 2:08 pm

Like I said, I left the door open for her to come back. However, it’s not ok to just disappear with no explanation, especially given how frequently she does it. I try to be patient, but eventually boundaries need to be set. I can’t just let her do this and act like it has no effect on me. It hurts. Especially given how important she is to me.

DOA 4/8/2020 - 3:41 pm

If it happens that often then at that point it is up to you. I put my friend through hell constantly trying to make him hate me. But he hangs around because he cares about me and could never hate me. However you also have to think about yourself and if you can’t handle it then maybe it is time to lock the door and if she wants back in she can message or call and you can talk it over.

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