He won’t control me anymore!

My father won’t control me anymore after this. I have had it with him. I admit I am the one responsible for my DUI accident back a couple months ago but if he wants to know what was going through my head that night then I would tell him that I was out driving because I wanted to stay away from him as soon as he got home so I drove down to the gas station to buy some alcohol. On my way back home to the place I dread I opened up my drink and started drinking because the guy scares me and I wanted to numb my fear and what happened next is self explanatory. I take full responsibility for my actions but I also take full responsibility for my decisions even further back before the day of my accident. I was doing just fine on my own. I didn’t have the nicest place or the nicest things but I had my own damn place and I was proving to him and everyone else every month for 7 months that I was capable of surviving on my own. I was paying my own bills, I was buying my own food, water, auto insurance, car was mine, etc. Then one day my father shows up in his car begging me to come stay at his place again. I made the worst decision that day by listening to him and his bullshit. I should’ve stayed where I had finally gotten. He tempted me and eventually manipulated me into going back to live with him. He promised he would change his ways and was acting all decent for the first two months and then he was back at it with his anger and his douchebaggery. He became a control freak once again and used that same playbook excuse of “as long as you live here you will do as I tell you”. See that wasn’t my problem. I WAS doing everything he asked of me but his anger was what got me going insane again. I was back to my old habits of drinking everyday as soon as I woke up because I was gonna have to be in his angry presence every morning and he’d always question the fuck out of everything I did. From what I’m doing today to why I’m cooking eggs the way I’m cooking them. It feels like im being questioned by the FBI over why I chose to cook eggs sunny side up over scrambled. It feels like that’s all we do. It’s nothing but a series of the same fucking questions every day and it’s usually with a tone that suggests he’s about to aggressively suggest I do things a different way and it usually ends up being exactly that with him also aggressively cussing me out or calling me an idiot and treating me like I’m the dumbest guy in the world and making me feel like less than a human being for simply not being as wise as him. He can turn something as simple as not eating lunch into a whole hour long argument on why I didn’t win some track race back in high school due to skipping lunch. He’ll combine today’s problems with yesterday’s and even further than that at times and he’ll re-express his anger towards me  over that mistake I made years ago. It’s always about how I fucked up something and he’ll put on the most Shrek looking face while doing so but that’s putting it lightly. My dad is like Shrek x 5 ^ Hulk x 9 = ????? Insanely angry over me not knowing where his watch is when he asks me to go get it for him from his room and I tell him it’s not there. He’ll then proceed to call me an idiot and that I need to look better and use my brain but when he goes and sees for himself it’s not there. He’ll get angry over petty things. Like one time we were at the movie theaters and we finished watching a movie, afterwards he wanted to go directly to another room without paying for the tickets for that rooms film. So pretty much he was about to walk into another room where another film was playing without having paid for the ticket after we walked out of our theater where we had finished watching our film. He was explaining this to me and my brother and I immediately responded out loudly with “Don’t we have to pay for our tickets first?!” I was younger then and I had no idea that he wanted to cheat the system that day. My dad got angry with me over this and even grounded me for it and said I had no street smarts over that and ridiculed me for the rest of the ride home and even partially while we had dinner later that day. Of course this was when I was younger but I’m explaining this memory so that you get a better idea of what he’s like. If I had to list the most memorable terrible things he’s done throughout my life to make me terrified of him they’d be this; beat up my oldest brother in the kitchen (he cried and wept, was bleeding once), hit my mom on multiple occasions and even made both of them bruise or bleed sometimes, thrown me across my room for waking up late for a football game screamed in my face like a maniac in the car after we arrived to my game late because I made him look bad, scratched me, speaking of scratching he accused me of letting bullies pick on me because one day while I was in the shower I scratched myself lightly due to an itch I had on my back naturally and when I came out I had red marks on my skin that disappeared within minutes due to my condition that he didn’t know I had called Dermatographia although this is ridiculous because my mom later explained that he should have known of this already but he must’ve carelessly forgotten when they told him at the hospital where I was born….guess he just forgot but yeah if I scratch myself like when I have a natural itch then it leaves red marks on my skin that disappear within minutes of doing so due to this condition I was born with. Makes me wonder why the I’m the hell he begged me to come back “home” or hell. My mom speculates that it had something to do with tax breaks he got a couple years ago when he begged for me to come back and live with him. He’s lied to the IRS before so it’s not hard to consider that as a possibility. I don’t know his intentions but surely they’re not beneficial to me. He’s expecting me to stay with him after I get out of jail later in June but his expectations are wrong. I WONT be coming back. I’m 23 years old and I’m barely starting to realize that I don’t have to do everything he says. I would’ve rather lived in a cheap apartment then live with him. My DUI accident is a good example of how he drives me crazy quite literally! I can’t keep lying to myself….I can’t stand living with him. The idiot still wants me to stay with him for some reason even after this. Well I don’t care what he says anymore. He’ll try and stop me from leaving but he won’t. As soon as I get back from jail. I’m packing my stuff and leaving. I don’t care anymore. I’m not afraid anymore. Something tells me he wants me to doubt myself and have no confidence so that he can maintain control over my life. Again I don’t blame him for the DUI accident. I blame myself and my own reasoning for this. I was selfish that night. Even with the chaos I was going through it still wasn’t right.