I laid here for an hour wishing you would notice. I was over here digging my nails into my arm. When I grabbed your hand you just asked me “why?” There is no why behind it. It just happens. I can’t stop it. It just goes. You try to make me feel better. But I know you don’t care. You gave yourself to me to make me feel better but then left immediately once it was done. Now I’m just laying here trying not to cry. I feel so alone. The one person I trust, I can’t even open up to you. It’s nearly impossible for me to try. Because every time I explain, you don’t understand, you are confused, and don’t even try to hide it. You just look at me like I’m some sort of pariah in your life who just gets sad for no reason and doesn’t know how to be happy for a while. I try. I really do. I just need you to hold my hand for me. That’s all I need.