And again it dawned upon my mind ( aka I had the epiphany that) I just lost my job because if my mental illness. And I sucked long before I was gone. I am now literally and legally crazy. Who will want to hire me? Who will want to date me? I wonder this and so much more. Will I ever study what I want to learn? Will I be good at it or will I have to give it up for something easier? Something different, something more at my “capabilities”. All I want in this world is to be a geneticist. Why must I be so dumb and lazy. Why did I have to be schizophrenic? I just lost my job because of it… And it’s never coming back. Hopefully this is a lose you to love me type of deal. Hopefully there is a better future in store for me. I didn’t know who to talk about this to.