Never Equal

I think there was never a point in which it was equal. The feeling between us. I think she wanted to care about me, but when it came down to it, I was just a stranger. I don’t blame her nor am I upset or sad. I think she meant it when she said that my support meant a lot to her. That my concern helped her. I do believe that. But when it came to me as a person, it must have been strange. This odd boy from years ago. This faceless blank voice. I wonder what I did to drive her away. What I said that made her leave. I think I put too much emphasis on our friendship. Put her too much on a pedastal. Made her feel strange. I don’t know how to act around people. I think I have a vision in my head and I get attached to that idea, but not the actual person. I don’t know if I’ve ever cared about soneone like I have about an idea before. Oh well. Maybe I’ll hear from her again, maybe not. Who knows? Sure as shit ain’t me. I don’t know a damn thing. That’s where all my problems lie. I don’t know anything.