Sober: day 16 (day 1)

i am starting over, sort of. i am currently high so thats not it. however i havent had a drink. one problem at a time. ill tell him a few days into this so he can forget about my mistake and just focus on the past few days. anyway, not why im here today, just thought id give a quick update.

they lied to me. they tricked me. they played on my biggest fear. OVER SOMETHING STUPID! heres what happened.
they were always yelling at me to clean my room. ok it wasnt the cleanest room in the house but i knew where all my stuff was. well she had been bothering me about it for a while. i dont remember why but i left my room for some reason. when i came back there was a spider on my window sill. normal, right? NO! this wasnt the little spider you find hiding in the corner catching flies. this thing was f*cking HUGE. i would say the size of the palm of your hand huge. living in canada ive never seen a spider much bigger then my thumb. we have it pretty good here that way. i know im grateful i dont live in australia. anyway i digress. so i walk in and this huge spider is staring at me. and at no point does this thing move. not even when i move closer to see if its real or not. didnt even flinch. well i hate spiders so i didnt exactly get that close before i ran out of the room. i bring them back to see it and they are telling me its a wolf spider. saying im lucky it didnt jump at me. and that it lives i dont remember exactly what they said but it was something like dark places like closets and what not. something really st*pid, right? there your f*cking parents youre suppose to be able to trust the f*cking a**holes arent ya? no. i dont know what brought it to my attention but i decided to do a bit of research on it this morning. heres the wiki page but ill quote some of the facts that have to do with what they told me.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wolf_spider

this species of spider does live in canada, they do jump. HOWEVER,

– “Wolf spiders can be found in a wide range of habitats both coastal and inland. These include shrublands, woodland, wet coastal forest, alpine meadows, suburban gardens, and homes.” not specifically dark closets like they said. although this fact can be argued because it does say “home”

– ok they do jump but i cant find any wheres that says how far or anything. but i did read that they only jump to catch prey. so i like my chances that it wasnt going to jump on me. not “lucky” just normal. but he made it sound like it was 6ft. no. its not that much i can infer from what little information i did find.

– now on to my favorite fact. remember how i said it was about the size of your palm. “The many genera of wolf spiders range in body size (legs not included) from less than 10 to 35 mm (0.4 to 1.38 in).” this “thing” was more big and bushy. like a tarantula. ok so all the pictures i found on google images are about the size of your hand but the pictures (coloring, leg:body ratio) doesnt look like what i remember. the legs are too long. to skinny.

oh i forgot to mention they took me out of my bedroom then i went back and the “spider” was never seen again even though it apparently wanted to live in my closet. is it possible that maybe it was an actual spider and he just up talked the jumping thing to scare me. totally. but it wouldnt surprise me if it was all fake. i mean my grandfather is fairly confident these people snapped the neck on our pet bird. and im fairly confident they killed my 5 pet chickens and 2 ducks (they made me release the other 2). because an 11 year old little girl isnt going to pick up a bucket the size of her to dump out some feed and NOT notice that she picked up FOUR ADULT CHICKENS. they are heavy and an 11yo is only so strong.

wow….im starting to think my mom and stepdad are psychotic.

also, cool fact, you know how a lizard will leave its tail behind so it can escape? wolf spiders lose their leg.