Solitude?

I overheard a conversation between my younger sister and her teacher and it kind of struck me. “Kinda nice to have an older sister and younger brother at home to play with during this time” I couldn’t help but think back to the time before my siblings. Just me and my mom, alienated from the rest of the family. Would I have gone mad as a child? Even in our neighborhood, I had no friends. I was the only Asian in the area and my neighbors treated me as my family did. But maybe that’s why I’m the way I am now. Solitude is comfort but I tend to ramble to myself. I mean, I think it’s weird that others think people who mumble to themselves are crazy. Everyone argues in their minds multiple times a day, it’s just an act of expressing those arguments verbally. Also, I’ve grown attached to inanimate objects in a manner my family doesn’t understand. My siblings wonder why even as old and “mature” their sister is, she would treasure such tiny figurines and stuffed animals when she was young. I’m not sure, I just couldn’t help but wonder. How much more unhinged I would’ve become. Being all alone– even more alone and excluded from the rest of the world– and my family. How much more would I push others away, ramble to myself and my animals? Maybe I’ll have no methods of dealing with others as the few I have now–