I did my weekly call today. Still no response. I left a voice message. Didn’t really know what to say except that I just wanted to check on her and that I wish we could talk. It’s starting to wear me down. At this point I’m just expecting to be disappointed. Whenever I get the urge to call I just tell myself “Just wait a little longer. You can be disappointed tomorrow.” I know that she won’t respond to texts. I know that if it rings more than once she won’t pick up. I’m just waiting every week to be disappointed. It’s really killing me inside. I think someone once told me that I’ll keep going regardless of how much it hurts me. I don’t know if I’ll keep going forever, but I don’t know that I won’t keep going forever. Maybe she’s just waiting for me to give up. How long will I keep trying to reach out only to hear silence. 2 Months? 6 Months? A Year? 5 Years? How long? Will it go from checking up on her every week to every two weeks to every month to every other month? Will it just phase out. I know that the only way to stop hurting myself is to just stop entirely. To just let her go. But I can’t. She made me too happy to go back to not having her in my life. I don’t want to get rid of all our messages and all the happy memories. This whole situation kills me. I just want to hear her voice again.