grief analogy.

interesting analogy^ i came across this article sometime in 2018, thought i’d add a few lines of my own and share it here.

observe the images carefully. the one on the left is A and the one on the right is B.

the black box represents a person. the green ball represents grief/pain that a person undergoes. the red area is the pain box.

A : the ball is too big to move without hitting the red box. every time it moves around the black box, it hits the red box. the grief is too much to handle initially, be it the loss of a loved one, or a failure at something.

B : over time, the green ball doesn’t get smaller, the black box gets bigger. we as people grow over time. experiences make us better people. we broaden our minds to new perspectives and welcome new opportunities. 

but that doesn’t mean the grief fades away or reduces. it’s ever present as it was before. the frequency of it appearing it is less because the person has learnt to live with it. it will strike, when the person least expects it to. a song, a familiar moment, a scene or even a place can bring back the grief hidden for ages.

the people you have in your life grow and occupy space in the tapestry that makes up your life. when they’re gone, it makes a hole where they used to be. the memories and love are still there and may always be there. so don’t look at your tapestry as filled with holes – look at it as your own unique lace pattern. the pattern isn’t over, but it is constantly changing. the pain of loss doesn’t ever really go away, but it does lessen over time.

this very analogy helped me through a rough breakup two years back, hope it’s useful to someone out there too.

a big fuck you to my mom who said that suicide is only for “the weak”.