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It’s time you make a choice, P.

by 15andfuckedup

Not so dear P,
You wanna help me? Huh? You wanna fucking help me? Then stop whispering from that little shadowy corner of my head. Just have some balls and take control over me. Stop giving me those minute rays of hope like they’re helping me. They fucking suck. Your little hopefulness just messes up my mind even more. Just don’t speak if you don’t have any voice. If you really wanna help me then take control over me, fully. Kill your rival– negativity. What? You think this is too hard? Ok then I am a genius so I have a solution for that too. So if you can’t fight that ***** negativity then just leave my fucking mind. Because you being inside my head only messes up my thinking. I can’t deal with negative thoughts if you just keep whispering like a little *****, telling me that you can help me, fuck you. How the fuck would you help me, huh? You need to help yourselves first. Because I don’t want to take the blame for your murder too (ive already committed a murder). Just like Flynn from that movie– all the bright places. He tried to help the girl (i don’t remember her name) but forgot to help himself first and then when he realized this then he couldn’t bear it. So yeah, if you think that you can help me then please go help yourself first, I repeat, there are two ways you can do that. Actually no there are three– a. you can kill your rival (don’t fight with it, there’s no chance you’d win) and then take control over me, btw i know this wouldn’t be easy for you because you won’t be able to deal with the guilt of murdering someone (even if it’s negativity). b. you can simply get the fuck out of my head (trust me, this is the easiest among all). And c. you can stay here and watch me (and yourself) die slowly and don’t say I didn’t warn ya before, this third option can be a little painful. So now it’s time that you choose among the three ASAP. Or else I would eliminate the first option and if you don’t choose even after that, then I would remove the second option (i.e. I would lock you in that little corner where you already are, and we can both choose the third option and die slowly, together).
So listen to me you mfing positivity/hope/ray of light or whatever is your name, you force me to listen to you every once in a while but now it’s time that you listen to me and choose your future.
Oh wait one more thing, when i said the easiest way was that you get the fuck outta my house, I forgot to mention that it was the easiest way for you. But you wanna know what’s the easiest way for me? Well it’s pretty simple. You can just choose not to help me. And if you do this, then I am telling you it would be really good for me as my mind would get cleared up without your removal or death. If this happens, then you can just sit and play in that little corner and no one would bother you. Just don’t make too much of a noise while playing. Who knows if negativity murders you for your annoying nature. And if you follow the rules and keep your mouth shut then my mind would start thinking again, as there would be just an eternity of negativity. And that’s actually cool. I mean my mind would remain calm under the rule of negative thoughts. If not calm, then atleast things would be sorted. I would know what I think because there’s just one thing to think– death.
Well, death is the ultimate level of negativity. So like it’d be the goal.

5 comments
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5 comments

ijuswantittoend 5/20/2020 - 5:42 am

what is a way we could talk

15andfuckedup 5/20/2020 - 12:26 pm

i dont understand. like you wanna talk to me?

CARLOSPEJUAN 5/21/2020 - 12:12 am

Are you still 15? lol just out of curiosity

15andfuckedup 5/21/2020 - 2:53 am

yes i am

EmbalmedHeart 5/20/2020 - 10:13 pm

You know the lack of ability to cope due to pervasive thoughts, it’s more common than you think.
The guy above me is right. Whatever is eating at you, find someone to talk to. Anyone if you want even me via comments on this site.

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