When it comes to suicide you have to really want it in order to succeed. I look back on my own biography and the suicide attempts I undertook and I have to ask myself the question “did I really want it? Was my heart really in it? Any man who chooses sleeping pills has really answered NO to those two questions. How mentally ill was I to choose sleeping pills? I’ve paid dearly for that choice and will continue to. I could of avoided ten years of hell but no I had to be stupid enough to go with pills, the least effective method known to man. There can be no fucking around when it comes to suicide, you either go through with it or you don’t. You jump off the sunshine skyway bridge in Florida you really wanted it, you jump off the George Washington bridge in New York you definitely meant business, you jump off the Cillfs of Moher in Ireland you wanted certainty, you jump off Beachy head in England you wanted it 100 percent. But no, not me, I had to be insane enough to choose pills and am now paying the price.