almost crying but cant, i feel the tears inside my eyes but wont release them.
anger building up inside me without an outlet, charging me with darkness and dread.
feels like i reek of desperation and just cant wash away the stench.
im all decayed inside and this urge… this malevolent urge to hurt myself extremely –
to obliterate myself and to be done with this… this twisted existence is immense.
theres always this hellish day and another day and another and another without any mercy..
pain, filled to the brim with it. hate it but cant give it up – its all i got.
detached, alone, incapable of coping or coming to terms with a life not worth living.
the big irony is that us – the poor, the confused and depressed, the marginalized and the sick are the ones that truly wants to live and just cant put up with the charade everyone else is acting in. we wont allow ourselves to be a part of this lame imitation of life, we wont be another character in this poorly directed straight-to-dvd, low-budget “movie” and prefer to be the true modern people of this sad world – the outcasts and the pariahs.
please no preaching and no “search for your path” and no “look inside your soul” crap in the comments.
the words – jesus, god, angels, eternal some-shit etc. etc. etc. are prohibited and not helpful.