greetings my fellow desperadoes!
as usual i try to post here everyday and must admit i feel at home. no judgment and most importantly i feel welcomed and safe like no other place\space. today i was very manic almost to the point of total idiocy.
the most powerful trigger for me is sleep deprivation and today was the day i just went berserk after not sleeping almost three days due to anxiety and fear of nightmares (i know it sounds stupid but its true). this last week im having car trouble and switched garages after they tore me a new one and made more damage saying its an old car blah blah and as morning came i found myself talking excitably and very loudly with a mechanic over the phone being sure i found the last honest one alive. i drove there (without a radiator) like crazy out of the loony bin – stopping every 10 minutes to add water with this giant yellow jerrycan making the streets disappear with clouds of steam to the sounds of car horns and shouts of disbelief. luckily i got to the garage without totaling may car or being pulled over, fined and arrested. as far as i know i didnt cause any accidents and i was laughing and chuckling to myself! usually i am a very careful, responsible person but when high and manic im a depraved and slobbering utter madman. i want all over paying so much more than i have and the car is not fixed yet. luckily i have slept a couple of hours and returning gradually to plant earth.
thank for the patience and sorry for this pointless text diarrhea..