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by imissyou

Anyone on here ever suffer from erotomania?
Made a poem about how much it sucks to be that delusional.

Singing songs for you like no one’s listening

Finding comfort in this shell of a body

Humming like a bird


Until I realized you don’t love me

You see

In my head you did for awhile

Then the curtain of reality fell

It broke bones and crushed my soul

Leaving nothing but tears and blood

It would never be your blood, my dear

Just a few slices to check my pulse

No one notices anyway

Just how much I want to die.


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Soda 6/29/2020 - 8:18 am

Great poem. When I was younger I could totally relate to this. I had a couple of crushes on girls in grade school and realized it was a one-sided delusional fantasy.

One girl I liked turned out to be a major *****-I tried joking/flirting with her once and she very rudely responded with “why are you trying to talk to me?” In other words F-off.

Actually she did me a big favor. I used to admire girls a bit too much, after that I began to see them as normal people and I was a lot more measured in my future advances with other girls.

It’s true what they say, women like you when you don’t show them too much respect. But ya, it’s a valuable lesson not to put anyone on a pedestal.

You’d think they’d have a little more compassion or consideration for someone that obviously likes them a lot, but they just choose to be cruel.

God I would love to see that girl one more time and put her in her place. I’d tell her that her reaction was uncalled for, she could’ve been nicer about it and I would’ve taken a hint. Also that she’s nothing special and needs to get off her high horse (she was pretty arrogant).

That has a knock-on effect, I wasn’t able to be fair towards other girls I dated as a result since I didn’t want to get hurt again.

Ironically I only really clued in when I read Sun Tzu’s Art of War. The first lesson of war is to know yourself and know your enemy, you will win 1,000 battles. I think the same applied to dating as I didn’t really know myself nor saw myself the way others would, that was a mistake which I eventually corrected.

Soda 6/29/2020 - 8:20 am

*major biitch

ungrateful_bastard (boxcar) 7/2/2020 - 4:18 am

Hopefully Tzu’s Art of War hasn’t caused you to be someone you aren’t/believe women are “hardwired” to be attracted to certain traits.
Have you ever met an old couple, that stuck through it for years, and thought, “That’s a nice big hardwired b!tch, if only I possessed the masculinity.” If you don’t that’s so cool and all because i knew plenty of guys that acted like that out of insecurity.

Soda 7/24/2020 - 4:06 am

AoW is more about battle tactics and it’s useful in war or even relationships. But the most important lesson one can take imo is ‘to know yourself (and know your enemy).’

Nonetheless I realized I couldn’t be anything other than what I was at each stage of my life. Your brain keeps growing/developing throughout your teen years.

So it wasn’t just that I was insecure and didn’t know myself but that I was simply very young and growing. I couldn’t possibly have had the wisdom (that I do now) at that age, even if someone had tried to teach it to me.

To answer your question I definitely didn’t put women in a box but people are drawn to strength and repelled by weakness, I believe that’s just in our nature.

And you are right, insecurity is an ugly quality. It makes you act poorly towards others even if you don’t mean to. It stops one from standing up for themselves but trying to end insecurity is like trying to tell someone not to be who they are. It’s a process that takes time to overcome.

Also when you’ve been treated badly by others, then you try to get tough and end up treating others badly who didn’t deserve it. Or you just come across weird and awkward because you don’t develop the proper social skills to act the right way.

It wasn’t until my 20s that I became a lot more sensible and more my true self. Even then I was like a child in some ways and still occasionally made dumb mistakes that others who are better socialized would not.

Being in my late 40s now I take everything in stride. I also realized that others have gone through their own maturing process and some people who become adults still are at the level of teenagers in the way they understand and deal with their problems.

We get one life and try to live it as best as we can. I’m not about to change people or the world. All I want to do is achieve the goals I’ve set for myself and surround myself with people who I like that like me and just enjoy the latter half of the life I have.

I wish I could go back in time and take advantage of the missed opportunities I’ve had but since I can’t, I’m more careful now not to miss those I get in my present.

vagabond 6/29/2020 - 1:14 pm

Fun Fact: Erotomania or just “Mania”, one of the eight types of love, is the result of an imbalance between Ludus, playful love e.g. flirty, “puppy love” and Eros, romantic love e.g. physical affection and sexual love.

I take that to mean unrequited love leads to an overload of Ludus which essentially drives a person to manic proportions.

vagabond 6/29/2020 - 1:16 pm

Or is erotomania some sort of persistent mental illness? Either way I think understanding the eight types of love would help you.

ungrateful_bastard (boxcar) 7/2/2020 - 3:43 am

Paul Bloom’s guest lecture on the eight different types of love was interesting. The dreaded marriage type of love was sad though πŸ™

Once 6/29/2020 - 6:07 pm

Chuckle. I had to look up this term, never heard it before. “The intense belief that someone is in love with you.” Its pretty safe to say I’ve never experienced this. I’m so far out of phase with this condition. Exact opposite, really – who in their right mind would even consider just liking me? There has to be something wrong with them….maybe that’s why I’ve always questioned religion and the unconditional love of an imagined deity. My version of John 3:16 reads “for god so loved the world (except for you, nimwit) that he gave his only begotten son…” . You know the rest.

ungrateful_bastard (boxcar) 7/2/2020 - 3:35 am

A brain scan of someone in love versus someone on cocaine looks very similar. Infatuation is powerful. There is a such thing as love addiction- obsesssive love
As long as you understand your limits and aren’t really hoping to bathe in someone’s blood lol
Obsessive love addicts are great for poetry… Until you notice a victim of it violating your feelings of security, this literally happened to me once. An acquaintence I hung out with once or twice was caught peeping in my windows one night.
Her face was covered, and I could never correctly put it in line to /after identifying hooded girl with my flashlight, going inside and calling police, because she’d leave after I spotted her.
Until early in the morning that summer, she had no shoes and no hair and I found her sitting under a picketed fence porch thing. There was glass under there etc. Like she was playing damsel or something?
How did she know where I lived/How did she know where my uncle lived… She was showing up in odd places and it freaked me out. Until I realized the aunt she was living with was still married to my uncle where that was a possibility….
Anyways, it was an awkward confrontation. Staring in shock, saying nothing and me once again turning my ass around to finally get this creeper bjtch. It’s difficult! Or it was for me, a 19 year old that didn’t have a clue that even existed in people.

ungrateful_bastard (boxcar) 7/2/2020 - 3:41 am

Literally, two hang outs.
Entitled people + love obsession or what the hell that was- not fun!

I’ve seen bad stalkers come out of friend’s gfs and it was honestly comical. The calling and hanging up with an angry dad at the end of it tapping his foot, screaming into the phone someone was supposed to call/quit calling. The friend’s gf busting out my dad’s truck window after he advised her to break up with her / her hiding in a shed at my neighbors to check if I was hanging around her gf / my best friend.
The spammed texts etc…
Not to break off on stalker experiences but you did say something about bathing in blood lol

ungrateful_bastard (boxcar) 7/2/2020 - 3:55 am

Oh crap I just scrolled through your first post. Im sorry πŸ™

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