And by soon, I mean within the next couple of months if I’m lucky. Because I currently don’t have access to my method. I’m so eager to go. I’ll take several Klonopin before so I’m relaxed, because I’m terrified all the time and I don’t want my last minutes to be filled with anxiety. Who else is dying this year?
I wonder what will happen after it’s lights out. There is no proof of anything either way, no one knows for sure. Some family members of mine have had supernatural experiences. Some people claim that the consciousness ends after death. I don’t know who to believe but it doesn’t matter anyway, I’ll find out, and we’ll all die anyway. Anything as universal as death must be a blessing.
The only thing I’m sad about is leaving my dad. I love him so much. But I can’t cope with the pain of life, for anyone’s sake.
I haven’t lived many years, but it feels like I’ve lived such a long life of pain. I hope death will feel like waking up from a dream, or taking off a pair of tight shoes, or finding your parents after you lost them in a Home Depot.