I haven’t been able to live and enjoy my life yet. There is always something sinking me to the bottom of the darkest holes. And each time I drag myself out its like leveling up and the next set of shit becomes more and more impossible. 2019 was an awful year, a draining year, the year that literally killed me inside. The year I wanted to blow my brains out more than I ever had before in my life. The year that I cut again so deep that I have a huge scar reminding me of how defeated I am. And then 2020 comes and the world starts to crumble and the ugliness of society is revealed and people lash out. And I cant help but think the world is coming closer to an end and I haven’t had a chance to be truly happy.