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I thought I was better off alone but I realized I need human contact. Is that too much to ask for?

by 15andfuckedup

Its so bad. I want human contact. I want a shoulder to cry on. I want to cry and no matter how much I cry, that person should not leave. I need someone desperately to talk to. I want to let my heart out and just tell that someone everything about me, and they should not leave me even after that. They should love me for whoever I am, selfish, rude, liar, ugly, pathetic. I really long for human contact and touch, like not being physical but they can just hug me and let me cry as much as I want to.

6 comments
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6 comments

no name 6/8/2020 - 2:29 pm

i cant hug you as you are over the internet but i can be someone that will listen and not judge you. i believe people are who they are for a reason. ill give you an example.

sometimes i have anger problems and my friend sent me this today: “Your anger is the part of you that knows your mistreatment and abuse are unacceptable. Your anger knows you deserve to be treated well, and with kindness. Your anger is a part of you that LOVES you.”

15andfuckedup 6/8/2020 - 7:09 pm

Thank you sm Hope.
I somewhat agree to that because we are the result of our choices, and as we make every choice, good and bad things happen simultaneously. And whether we love these things or not, they become a part of us. And are going to be with us till the end. They love us regardless of how much we criticize or hate them.
I guess anger is one such thing for ya.

Lunnna 6/8/2020 - 10:45 pm

There are days I feel the same as well though there are days I wanna be alone, too. I’m lucky enough to have some people around me, though some of them doesn’t know anything about what I go through at all. It helps. Just having someone to listen even when they wouldn’t understand. Sometimes I wish they would. But sometimes just someone who cares would be enough.

15andfuckedup 6/9/2020 - 3:14 am

Yeah. It’d be a lot better if I had a single person who’d understand me than having so many people who can’t see what is underneath that fake smile.

darkwillow 6/9/2020 - 4:40 pm

I have this strange belief that if I’m alone, and no one “sees” me, then my life is pointless. Nothing matters if no one is part of my life.

Logically, this doesnt make much sense. Its like the argument, if a tree falls and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? It’s like I need to be cared for. To be seen and heard. By someone.

It’s strange isn’t it. Why does feeling connected to someone else mean so much to us?

15andfuckedup 6/10/2020 - 4:41 am

I think what you said makes sense.
Idk about other people but for me, my family is seventy percent the reason I’m alive. The rest thirty percent is just me being a coward / loser. I won’t say that they “saved” or “save” me but they certainly play a major role in letting me continue this hellhole of a life. This makes me wish that I lived alone because imo living alone >>>> living with people who don’t know a fucking thing about me.
It’s all confusing how I want someone who can help me get better but at the same time I want to be alone (I’m pretty much alone on the inside but I wish I was living alone.) so that I’d die sooner than later.

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