hey. I realize I’m a lot younger than a lot of the people on this site. I know it sounds hella stupid that someone my age would have everything against the world but I feel like no one understands… like I’m drowning and everyone’s watching and having fun but all they see me is swimming- thriving. I know… “reach out,” they say. “we’re here for you,” they say.
the funny thing is, once, I believed them. I reached out once… and came on too strong… they ‘ran’ away. reached out to someone else… “you’re being dramatic” they said. well, maybe they were right. but do they know what it’s like to be afraid of yourself? do they know that I can scare someone away with nothing but simply a glance? I’m tired of always trying to search for the place where I belong or where I’m in the least respected.
I’m tired of searching for the right people, for a reason to try. I’m tired of lies and fake promises and everything in between. I know it sounds petty… there’s more I swear but for now I’m just tired.