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Loner

by imissyou

One of the only reasons I haven’t killed myself is this guy. I would worry too much about what would happen to him if I died. I also had a nightmare recently that my mom killed herself, and it really made me think twice.

I’m just still really torn up about the restraining order. I know in my last post there were some comments that were helpful. I’m not so much obsessed with the person who has the restraining order….more obsessed with understanding the why. I listened to Taylor Swift’s new song Exile, and it made me tear up a little because it was relatable. Not only did she reject me, but I have been banned from one of my favorite places over it. There are straight up so many people who refuse to even speak to me…..like it kind of hurts. I guess I’m just meant to be a loner.

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3 comments

HDNQ 7/27/2020 - 9:30 am

That’s the best reason to live that I’ve ever seen on this site or any other. Life is BS. It does not get better. But anyone who has a dog, or cat, or I hear rabbits & pigs are just as affectionate, we owe it to them to protect them until we die a natural death. Thanks for the reminder.

muspelhem 7/27/2020 - 3:56 pm

I was pretty harsh on you last time, but I kinda get where you’re coming from. My ex-girlfriend asked me to stop contacting her (I would text her occasionally, because I kind of hoped I could get her back.) That was the worst day of my life. Years later, I would still think of her and hope to bump into her somewhere, randomly.

It hurts when that connection is severed, suddenly. I suppose over time I have tried to tell myself that she is better off like this, happier, and that is what I want for her, right? I want her to be happy. And I couldn’t make her happy. It was me who broke up. I was the uncommitted one. So. Fair enough. More than fair. I got what I deserved.

muspelhem 7/27/2020 - 3:57 pm

P.S. Cute canine

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