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Warning: TMI

by imissyou

Well….I just watched a video about hypersexuality on YouTube. Sometimes I am a little too sensitive about what others say about me, but it was a diagnosis being considered for me at one point (not anymore). It wasn’t hypersexuality at all though. I’m pretty sure it was erotomania, which isn’t much better if it’s better at all. I’m just slightly offended in hindsight. I’m not a promiscuous person whatsoever. I’m transgender, which makes me think I got stereotyped as a sex worker….either that or they noticed that I was touching myself in the ER after I got out of jail (solitary confinement). I hate that I was judged for that. Solitary confinement consists of a lot of sensory deprivation, so when when I got out, I couldn’t help but notice that I was incredibly turned on by really mundane sensory experiences. I’m sorry if this is too much information by the way, I’d just like to share. Anyway, I’ve had sex like once in the past 6 years, and it might be due to my internal desire to prove the asshole that was trying to label me that way wrong. I have issues, bro.

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7 comments

Thorium 232 7/16/2020 - 12:01 am

I just want to let you know that there is nothing wrong with who you are and that if anything you have nothing to prove to that asshole that labeled you because it means that they are the ones who have issues and are insecure about themselves. So please if you see this comment embrace who you truly are and know that I cried when I read your story because it reminded me that I’m not the only one is this cruel world experiencing pain and hardships and that I wish the world things will turn out better for you.

imissyou 7/16/2020 - 2:59 am

Thank you for taking the time to respond! I’m really hoping things get better at some point. I hope things getter better for you as well.

Thorium 232 7/16/2020 - 10:45 pm

Thank you, I know that I’m not going through the same struggles that you are but that means a lot to me and I wish you the best for the future.

muspelhem 7/16/2020 - 2:15 pm

You have divulged the following: Someone got a 5-year restraining order againt you. You have been imprisoned, solitary confinement. You touched yourself in the ER.

Are you aware of the picture that paints? It sounds like someone who struggles with respecting other people’s boundaries, and impulse control.

I don’t know you, for all I know you could be an exceptionally unfortunate victim of a miscarriage of justice.

But it doesn’t sound good.

I wish you luck with balancing your short-term desires and your long-term interests (I suspect severe social consequences don’t figure amongst them?)

I probably sound super harsh. If it is any comfort, I myself am a porn/sex addict, and I appreciate that these things are easier said than done.

muspelhem 7/16/2020 - 3:38 pm

I’m sorry: You probably came here to vent/get support – not to be judged. I apologize for being thoughtless and harsh. Take care.

imissyou 7/16/2020 - 6:07 pm

You think I struggle with respecting people’s boundaries? That’s fucking hilarious.

I didn’t come here to be judged: that much is true. If you knew the details surrounding the incident, you would probably say it was far from fair. Most of these “boundary violations” were simple steps taken by me in an attempt to communicate with someone who simply didn’t want to talk to me. Communication is important in healthy relationships. It was a third degree harassment and trespassing charge. The charge that stuck and got the restraining order was third degree harassment, which is vaguely defined under my state’s law. Over a span of several months, I got in trouble for writing them two letters and attempting to call this individual around 5-7 times. My mental health was not considered throughout the case at all, but most of my behavior stemmed from an erotomaniac delusion that this person loved me. If they had a boundary it was not successfully communicated to me by them as they never asked me to stop or told me that I was making them uncomfortable. They never shared their feelings or set a firm boundary, which fed the delusion.

As someone whose boundaries have been violated multiple times despite asserting them, I am highly offended. I’ve been sexually abused before, and I considered the arrest and confinement a violation of my own person boundaries. This makes me want to contact the “victim” just to say fuck you to them. As much as I’d like someone to respect my boundaries, it gets to the point of I’ll respect yours if you respect mine. Mine were not respected at any point in any way.

When I say I touched myself, I didn’t full on jack off in the ER. It’s not like it was in any way enjoyable for me. I’m not a sex addict, and I literally hate sex because I can’t orgasm. I don’t cum. I feel disgusted for trying so hard for as long as I did when I was in my last relationship. I also feel ashamed that I can’t do those things. When I say I touched myself, I do not mean I masturbated.

imissyou 7/16/2020 - 6:17 pm

I’m not sure what you mean by short term desires…..does that include orgasms? Because I physically cannot do that anyway. I had a genuine long term interest in the person with the restraining order, and I’ve had to struggle with knowing that they couldn’t give less of a fuck about me. I’ve also been in school for the past year, with the interest of getting a degree, which is hard as someone with a mental illness.

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