i won’t make it

I don’t want anything.
“You broke me” but you are a concept, in the end i did this to myself and I deserve every bit of it.

and you, you typing this, you know how everything went down yet you kept on playing the victim, you don’t deserve anything and you know it, not a thing. They didn’t broke you, nobody broke you, it’s just the consequences of you being alive.

what the fuck was I born for? All I did in my life was to ruin things, everything, I fucked up everything, if I was never born none of this would happen, none of me would happen,  it’s all my fault for being this way and I can’t go on any longer.

theres nothing I like about myself, there’s nothing I wouldn’t change about myself, I wish I wasn’t me, i just want to forget about all this, I’m so tired of all and everything, I’m so tired of living like this every single day

i want to get beaten until I lose my consciousness, I hate myself, I hate myself I hate myself I hate myself so much I can’t put it in words but to repeat it over and over again, no more beautiful imagery, no more goals, no more wanting anything, no more flashbacks of the past when things were alright. I want to die, but if I do I’ll just ruin things more, I don’t even have the right to take my own life. I don’t deserve to take the easy way out. I want to die, I want to die, it never got better and I’m so tired, I’m so tired of this.

I don’t deserve to live, I don’t want to live, I just want to be right for once but there’s no way out. I want to die, I want to die, I’m so tired of living like this. I hate myself I hate it I hate it I miss when I wasn’t like this, I’m going insane, I’ve gone insane, I want to die. No medication, no attention, nobody’s knows, nobody will come, I don’t deserve anything, nobody should come.

Everything. I. Do. Is. Wrong.

Everything. I. Say. Is. Wrong.