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Ehhhh…

by imissyou

Well….I ended up taking some pills, but I’m okay now.

I also sent the person that had the restraining order a message last night in a moment of weakness. It said:

“Hey. Could I have a word with you please? I’m looking for some closure. If not now, I would also appreciate a response at some future time if/when you are ready to have a conversation. Thanks!”

It was a lot shorter than I anticipated, but I didn’t want to overwhelm them. The haven’t responded, which I think says it all. I give up. I just want to move on, and I think talking with them would help with that. It seems like they give zero fucks about my feelings.

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38 comments

- 8/22/2020 - 9:55 pm

There’s someone I want to talk to that doesn’t necessarily want to hear from me too. I don’t know what to say to them either.

Teresa's Child 8/23/2020 - 1:54 am

Take this from someone who’s been in that position. Let it go.

muspelhem 8/23/2020 - 4:59 am

Know this doesn’t help at all, but am so sorry for bullying you on here. Have been so worried. Am relieved you are still with us. Cannot apologise enough, even though it doesn’t help. If it wasn’t obvious, I took my own depression out on you. I’m so sorry. Know my words probably carry no weight, but you are a valuable person. Hope you find a way to move on without this person that was important to you. Saw your pictures on your other post and you look lovely. Again, sorry.

imissyou 8/23/2020 - 2:16 pm

Apology accepted. I think you did have a point as well. I don’t know how she feels. I think that’s why I changed the message so much. I opened the door a crack, but I don’t think she is going to respond anyway.

muspelhem 8/24/2020 - 4:50 pm

Thank you so much. You tried. I know how difficult it is when people don’t want contact with you. I wish you good luck for the future. Thank you again for your magnanimity.

WitheringHope 8/23/2020 - 7:34 am

She does not owe you any closure. You think people get restraining orders because it’s easy, fun, and convenient? Your words probably freaked her out. Leave her alone ffs.

imissyou 8/23/2020 - 1:59 pm

Have you ever gotten a restraining order or had one against you? Seems easy as can be to get one. She applied for one over phone calls that weren’t even every single day. How sensitive do you have to be if phone calls bother you that much? If it’s such a pain in the ass to get a restraining order, maybe they should’ve just considered telling me to fuck off.

imissyou 8/23/2020 - 2:01 pm

Does my message come across as me thinking she owes me something? I am being kind if you haven’t seen my other post and what I was considering sending.

Teresa's Child 8/23/2020 - 5:20 pm

You don’t seem to understand. Continuing to interact with someone after they’ve signalled that they do not want to speak with you is harassment. It doesn’t matter how nice you are or how you feel. If it’s over, then it is over. Period. Stop sending this person messages.

imissyou 8/23/2020 - 10:45 pm

You don’t seem to understand. You shouldn’t be able to just chalk every single thing a person does up to be harassment. That’s a load of horse crap. Also, she didn’t make it very clear. I consider her actions to be ambiguous. That is the entire purpose of me wanting closure. How am I supposed to grow from the situation when it has left me with the understanding that simply calling someone or attempting to communicate is inherently harassment?

Teresa's Child 8/23/2020 - 11:06 pm

Friend, if she got a restraining order against you, that is as clear as it gets. You can’t get any more clear than that.

I personally am not judging you and what you do or do not do has no personal significance to me. I am simply giving you advice that I think anyone that was actually trying to be impartial in this situation would offer. It is your choice whether or not you want to argue with me, or whether you want to listen to reason. At the end of the day, it is your life that will be affected by your choices. Not mine.

imissyou 8/23/2020 - 10:51 pm

Look up the denotative meaning of harassment….as well as the legal definition. You shouldn’t be allowed to use a connotative meaning of the word to convict someone of that crime.

WitheringHope 8/24/2020 - 4:32 am

What did you expect people from SP to say? I bet she was sitting around for 5 years feeling guilty, counting the days when the RO ends so she could finally give YOU your effing closure. You’re delusional. Nobody even has to guess why she got the RO if they read your stuff.

WitheringHope 8/24/2020 - 4:45 am

Also you talking about definitions is cute… RO does not make you a criminal.. VIOLATING it does. It’s an order of protection for HER because YOU scare her and dont seem to care.

WitheringHope 8/24/2020 - 10:24 am

I feel like you posted on here because you subconsciously knes people on here would remind you to leave her alone… so just calm down and think about things and read what people have said to you.. nobody is taking into account whether or not the person falsely placed a RO on you, they are giving you advice based on what you should do next. And that’s learn from it and move on, life has a lot left to offer you, but you wont see it if you’re obsessed over this person.

imissyou 8/24/2020 - 12:41 pm

Also, the restraining order expired. I don’t know how to fucking interpret that.

fivepercent 8/24/2020 - 5:35 am

Dude let it go. Chasing after someone who wants nothing to do with you just makes you look pathetic. I say that not as an insult but with personal experience. I chased after someone for years, thinking I was cool like in some stupid Hugh Grant romcom. No. Reality is you look creepy. Cut your losses and move forward.

imissyou 8/24/2020 - 12:37 pm

Asking for closure and “chasing after someone” are two different things.

fivepercent 8/25/2020 - 9:21 pm

She already gave you closure. She never wants to see you again. Sounds pretty closed to me. Seriously, find someone else. Always move forward.

WitheringHope 8/24/2020 - 8:51 pm

The RO expiring means she hopes she doesnt need to renew it. I’m sorry if you needed me to remind you.. it’s time you accepted it. Also I agree.. fuck me

TheJoors 9/7/2020 - 1:04 am

It has to be draining reading judging and controlling comments. Complete strangers criminalizing you* but never bothering to ask why you feel the way you do.

I’m guilty of that, and I apologize. Nobody knows the victim or how the victim feels about this. She could’ve felt annoyed instead of fearful. Assuming she was afraid demonizes you. That isn’t fair, because you’re hear to tell your story.
Sorry everyone’s being a d*k.

What type of closure are you looking for from this person? What was it before the restraining order?

TheJoors 9/7/2020 - 1:14 am

At that, you’re struggling and hurting over this… Obsessions sucks.
It seems like you’re desperate to end that chapter and start a new page.

Soda 8/25/2020 - 1:00 am

Firstly I credit you for putting yourself out there, it takes courage. Also I’d rather have someone speak out about their problems than to hold it in and end up making bad decisions.

Of course this also means you’ll get judged and hear views you might not like. In my case I don’t really judge you because I remember when I used to be stubborn and arrogant and I thought I knew better than others.

My smugness lead to making poor choices and I learned my lessons the hard way, but at least I learned. So it’s cool if you don’t listen to anyone here and decide to go with what you feel is right, however bad decisions usually come with consequences and suffering.

I once hung out with the wrong crowd because I thought it’d make me look cool. Some of my closest friends/relatives warned me about them, but I didn’t think they’d get me in trouble but they did and I paid the price for it. Ofc now I stay clear from trouble-makers.

You indicated you called this person a lot. Then you said they should’ve told you to fcuk-off and you would’ve stopped calling. I don’t think you’re being honest. Because a RO is another form of telling you to F-off and you’re still here thinking about talking to this person. I bet they did tell you off but that didn’t deter you so they had to do it by getting the RO.

Once your reputation/credibility is destroyed with someone, then it’s best to move on. You will never regain their confidence or respect. Chock it up to lessons learned and find someone new.

You asked for closure, you’ve gotten it already but you don’t want closure at all, you want communication with person you’re basically obsessed with. Most people move on usually after 3-6 months at the end of a relationship, yet after 5 years, you’re still thinking about this person.

Also “closure” is the kind of thing that happens between two people who cared about one another at some point but the relationship went wrong for some reason.

But that’s not the sort of relationship you’re in, it’s a one-sided fantasy, the other person has zero interest in you, in fact they want nothing to do with you. You’ve misinterpreted their behavior to keep feeding the fantasy that you’re in a relationship with this person when you’re not.

You need to come back to reality, and move on with your life. Give us closure, tell us you’re done with this person you’ve been obsessed with and you’ve moved us and won’t try to contact them again.

Soda 8/25/2020 - 1:02 am

typo- moved on (not us)

Soda 8/25/2020 - 9:24 pm

That’s hilarious, you were harassing someone to the point they had to get a RO against you for 5 yrs, then you ask for advice and then insult people for telling you what the right thing to do is.

But I take it all back. Just do what you want-so when you do get in trouble again, you’ll only have yourself to blame and you can’t say that we didn’t warn of the consequences.

imissyou 8/25/2020 - 10:42 pm

I had little time to reply because I had a meeting.

You talk about how you would rather have someone speak out about their problems then hold it all in. Then criticize them without acknowledging or thinking about why they posted. I didn’t ask for advice on this post. You can go to my last post and write all the advice you freaking want.

You say that you aren’t judging me then subtly imply I am stubborn and arrogant. How is the message I sent stubborn or arrogant? You say “at least I learned” which betrays your overall message that you aren’t judging me with a sense of superiority. Like haha….at least I learned…obviously you aren’t.

I didn’t say how often I called this person. I just stated that it wasn’t every day. It was maybe once a week 3 times. I had other things going on in my life. They NEVER told me before involving police that they wanted to be left alone or gave a reason why. That’s part of the reason why I haven’t moved on. I think that’s rude to do to someone that you know/knew. I would bet you my life that they didn’t tell me to fuck off.

You tell me to move on like I didn’t get fucking tortured. You are insensitive to the issue.

Soda 8/26/2020 - 2:48 am

Like the others, I came here to give you some positive feedback.

Sometimes that means giving advice you wouldn’t like but that is good for you, like the taste of bitter medicine. But you don’t want any help or think you need it.

You might’ve had some history with this person, but the RO is a pretty clear signal that history means nothing as they wanted you out of their life.

When someone tells you not to play with fire, the smart thing to do is listen to them and thank them for their helpful suggestion, but you choose to attack that person instead.

This is why I said you do what you want. Why are you carrying on now? Nobody is getting in the way of your choices. We have nothing more to discuss.

You just made me regret trying to be helpful and to instead let you learn the hard way.

imissyou 8/25/2020 - 10:43 pm

If you wanted to take it back, you had the opportunity already…..

imissyou 8/25/2020 - 10:44 pm

Someone you speak with everyday is likely someone you care about yes? You act like we weren’t friends before this….like we didn’t talk everyday for months. Like we were complete strangers.

imissyou 8/25/2020 - 10:45 pm

I want closure because how does someone go from talking to someone everyday to just straight up ghosting them.

imissyou 8/25/2020 - 10:46 pm

Your comment is

1. Invalidating
and
2. Borderline gaslighting

imissyou 8/25/2020 - 11:01 pm

If I said you were harassing me right now, what would your honest response be?

Soda 8/26/2020 - 2:54 am

that you’re an idiot tbh.

Soda 8/26/2020 - 3:26 am

Harassment would involve repeated obscenities at you for your race, gender, etc which I haven’t done here.

So your accusation is entirely false and baseless that’s why I called you an idiot.

In your case however, the fact that she filed an RO means that you were obviously harassing her or doing something that eventually forced her to file that order, so don’t try to turn the tables on me.

And isn’t it so convenient for you that all we have here is your side and she’s not able to present her position?

No doubt you’ve downplayed your real behaviour and I’m sure the actual picture isn’t the way you paint it.

As I said before you made me regret replying to your posts, so I think we should part ways here and not egg one another on.

You made a false accusation forcing me to reply, so let it go now.

imissyou 8/26/2020 - 1:31 pm

What if I told you that my harassment had nothing to do with obscenities.

If you told you the truth, you wouldn’t believe me….almost goes without saying here.

Harassment from my understanding has nothing to do with obscenities….based on my experience. Your intentions are irrelevant, and all that matters are my feelings, which you are not aware of. You are in FACT harassing me.

Soda 8/26/2020 - 3:08 pm

My definition is actually the official one, go look it up.

If only feelings matter, then the fact that you keep tagging me in your posts is in IN FACT harassing me as you’re forcing me to reply and defend myself.

Especially since I repeatedly told you I don’t want to talk to you anymore.

Ironic, the person with an actual Restraining Order against them is playing the victim here.

If I knew you were this much of a basket case I would’ve stayed far clear of you, I see why she got the RO against you now.

So this is my last post to you. I’d suggest you have the courtesy of not replying and walking away, but I don’t think you can restrain yourself.

imissyou 8/26/2020 - 4:46 pm

The definition of harassment in the dictionary is different than legal interpretations. The definition is not what you said….harassment is defined as aggressive pressure or intimidation. Not sure what dictionary you are using here.

I’m not tagging you in my posts. You commented some rather nasty things, and I’m defending myself from you personally attacking me. I am not “forcing” you to defend yourself. That is YOUR CHOICE. It’s laughable that you would suggest I am in some way forcing you. Might as well buy you a dictionary and throw it at your face, so you are aware of the denotative meanings of the words you are using.

Also, there is no restraining order against me. There was. It’s easy for you to just sit there and judge, and it seems like you are in capable of taking the higher road, which would be empathizing. I kind of hope that you go through all the crap I did, so maybe you would be able to understand.

Also, you requesting I not reply on MY OWN POST? Get wrecked.

Wisp 8/25/2020 - 8:39 pm

Hey, I read your other post. If my comment makes me sound like a horrible person, so be it.
If she really did all those things in your post then she sounds like a sociopath. You can’t really get closure from a sociopath. A sociopath will always be a sociopath, and even if you did get closure, it would probably be all lies anyway from her.
I have sociopathic tendencies myself, lol.
I’m guessing she must have manipulated someone or something to be able to get a restraining order on you. She just wants to silence you and make you go away, in other words, she doesn’t want to own up to what she has done to you.

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