Well….I ended up taking some pills, but I’m okay now.
I also sent the person that had the restraining order a message last night in a moment of weakness. It said:
“Hey. Could I have a word with you please? I’m looking for some closure. If not now, I would also appreciate a response at some future time if/when you are ready to have a conversation. Thanks!”
It was a lot shorter than I anticipated, but I didn’t want to overwhelm them. The haven’t responded, which I think says it all. I give up. I just want to move on, and I think talking with them would help with that. It seems like they give zero fucks about my feelings.