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The Buick

by postalservice

My sister was telling me this yesterday morning… And her driving… Somehow she’s still alive. At 9 years old, somehow crashes a lawnmower into a pole barn. The road was parallel to the building.. I mean the aftermath was godlike, “How could you manage to do this much with a lawnmower going 2 miles an hour…?” That’s what dad said anyway.

Anyways, one morning, she had my dad’s Buick. She loves photography, and decided to capture “a beautiful bucolic image of our home state,”

…She’s driving too fast, somehow ramps up in the air, jumps a ditch, mows down a fence, romping down in a cow patch. And she’s sitting there cracked out, “Omg wtf just happened.” So she gets out and looks around and there’s cows around her. And she thinks, “Well, if it’s chill, it’s chill, not disturbing the peace, hopefully they stay there.” So she starts looking for someone to talk to about the destroyed fence in her wheels etc .. And she starts walking. The cows, start following. She starts running. She looks back, The cows, are running. X*D

She runs in a circle, and miraculously becomes an expert at herding cows because she hightailed it to her car and locked the doors. She called 911…. X*D

You see this is what I mean, this girl.. Her driving… And on top of it, she’s late for work and eventually makes it in. Her boss doesn’t believe her, so she brings back a note from the man that owns the fence and …well she was still written up but I’ll be damned if you try calling her a liar. Hahaha!

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