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I took these antidepressants when I was 17 that fucked up my brain It was like my brain was being ripped apart like a wet tissue in a blender. The words don’t come out right anymore. It was like they erased a part of me. Part of my soul. It’s like a part of me is just… Gone. Like a mild lobotomy. I met this person who sort of filled in the blanks that they erased. But I had a mental breakdown and alienated myself from them.
We were so similar in nature, it’s like we connected on a spiritual level. They always understood how I was feeling despite how difficult it has become to communicate.
They destroyed my brain. They destroyed a part of me and I found my soul in her again. Imagine having your reflection erased, like a vampire, and then being able to see it in someone else again someday. I can see the reflection of my soul in her heart. Even though I thought it was gone forever. With her, I can be whole again.
But that’s the thing. I pushed her away. Because she was like my hero. It feels so pathetic to be a burden on a woman. Like imagine being the rescue to a woman instead of being able to defend yourself
It reminds me of the time I almost drowned when I was a kid and started calling for the girl I was there with. They say that those who are drowning pull others down with them. It’s so pathetic. It’s that all over again.
I knew that’s what this was and that I would be a burden on her.
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a1957 8/6/2020 - 8:29 pm

Sorry for what happened to your brain. I read a story like yours oh maybe about 20 years ago and got curious. I wondered, could this be, a group of medicines that makes us far worse off than before?

That one story got me looking into the matter and yes, there are many who, like you, suffer from mental meds.

I wish my sister had read a story like yours.

Thank you for writing this. Maybe it will help someone else with the decision to medicate or not.

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