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by kill_me

They don’t tell me things. But my dad got pneumonia and he’s in the hospital. Before he agreed to be brought to the hospital he looked like he’s dying and his symptoms are similar to symptoms of covid. The chances of him having it is high.

I’m surprised at me for not caring at all. He might die but he’s just like that random relative I see in birthday parties.

They don’t tell me. But if he really got covid the possibility of me getting it is also high since my mom and I took turns caring for him. I have untreated thyroid issues and it’s bad now because of my heartrate. I fucked up my sytem from all my previous suicide attempts. Paracetamol, ibrupofen, propranolol, coolant, sn. It’s not good to die from having covid but all I’m thinking is that. I could die.


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Abandoned 9/25/2020 - 2:12 pm

SN wouldnt have hurt your system.

SN ends your life through a clinical process called Hypoxia. That means it deprives your body of oxygen. It achieves this by changing your blood. The blood that you have in you right now contains a lot of Hemoglobin, the bright red blood that carries oxygen to all parts of your body. SN poisoning converts Hemoglobin to something called Methemoglobin which cannot carry oxygen. This will change the colour of your blood to a blue or brown colour. Once rescued you are then given an injection of methylene blue which completely reverts the process of SN.


kill_me 9/25/2020 - 8:08 pm

Yeah. I turned blue when I took it. Nails were blue lips were blue.. I failed because I threw up most of it. Never going to try that again I felt so sick when I woke up and the next days PLUS the taste’s awful. Never again..

Abandoned 9/26/2020 - 4:00 pm

just because you turned blue doesnt mean it did permanent damage

Abandoned 9/26/2020 - 4:51 pm

also if you had a second drink ready to drink after throwing up the first you would have succeeded assuming someone didnt rescue you

kill_me 9/26/2020 - 7:41 pm

Maybe I would have succeeded if I was able to handle the taste and the vomiting.

Abandoned 9/26/2020 - 8:06 pm

although the taste probably didnt help it wasnt the only cause. your body would have recognized it as a danger and tried to get rid of it i.e. vomiting. this is why you are suppose to take an antiemetic to help

kill_me 9/26/2020 - 11:03 pm

I did take an antiemetic I followed the stat dose. Just didn’t work. It’s not for me, not my way.

postalservice 9/26/2020 - 12:52 am

πŸ™ I know it’s cringey, ..but I wish more than anything that you would just love yourself. A real soul out there. You’re just so worth it, happiness and its shortfalls.

kill_me 9/26/2020 - 3:45 am

I suck at things like this but thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

postalservice 9/26/2020 - 1:14 am

How’d his test kit come back btw

kill_me 9/26/2020 - 3:47 am

I don’t know when it came out since no one tells me anything. But my brother just messaged me and told me that the three of us need a swab test. So yeah, I guess my dad really got covid.

postalservice 9/26/2020 - 6:27 am

Is he quarantined or still racked at the hospital?

kill_me 9/26/2020 - 9:34 am

They admitted him. Now all of us can’t leave the house even for groceries. Lol now I wonder who’ll get the symptoms next.

postalservice 10/3/2020 - 12:15 am

Did you get tested? God, that would kill me. I smoke a lot. Haha
Have you checked in on him etc

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