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anyone else here who planned to kill themselves by 25

by Rationalist-Pragmatist

I don’t want to be an adult. I’m not good at it. I wasn’t even good at being young. I’m not good at being me, come to think of it. How many people from here have actually killed themselves? I know the cliché thing is those that really do it are the ones who stop talking about it.

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CARLOSPEJUAN 9/30/2020 - 11:28 am

Not 25 but 40 I don’t know if I wanna live past that

sdasdfdasds 9/30/2020 - 6:20 pm

Me, but I didn’t do it. As for your second question, it is hard to say. People come and go to this website for different reasons.

sdasdfdasds 9/30/2020 - 6:21 pm

Sorry, meant to reply to op. Im not 40 yet.

Her0Reb313 10/1/2020 - 3:47 am

27 was a number in my head for the longest time. And then it was 32.

I’m all about synchronicities.

I think I know the exact date that I die.

Her0Reb313 10/1/2020 - 3:59 am

As far as how many people here have actually done it?

I think a lot of the people here are here because they was want to feel heard.

That’s the same reason why i’m here.

I was weak. I was drunk, on acid, marijuana, sleep deprived, and lonely.

I thought crossed my mind.. Not to kill myself, but I was in the midst of the acid and I had the freeing feeling.. a warm melancholic happiness filled my soul.

I thought to myself, it wouldn’t be so bad to “move on” from here, right now.

I didn’t image a bloody sad death. I imagined myself floating away into something new, something better,. a place where there is not time, no places. I was gravitating towards it and I was free, and I knew that everything would be alright. I felt like I had earned it. At first I was afraid that I was “dying” as in darkness, but when I succumed to the feelings, I knew that I was alright. And I was okay with the idea of dying right then and there.

I typed up “I feel like leaving this world”, and I scrolled a few links and seen this one.

I had read the posts for a couple of days while I was more sober and I just wanted to share my thoughts with people.

I do get depressed. It’s something i’ve struggled with since I was about 6 years old. I’ve never felt “normal” because I know i’m not.

This is coming from a person who’s seen and heard ghosts since I was a child. And no, i’m not crazy. Far from it. Smack dab in the middle of my right mind.

I struggle with addicting thoughts, habits, I hate myself for my past more days than not, but I am learning, I am growing.

There’s one word that has stuck out to me for the last year.

M E T A M O R P H O S I S

I am becoming.

We all are. Some of us just don’t know it. Us Damaged people need to look out for one another. If ever the world went to shit, we would be the ones to pull it together and survive.

Survive

Enfield1955 10/4/2020 - 3:54 am

I thought for sure I’d be dead before my 20s and then 23, 25,28,30. Shits getting annoying now. Dragging on forever.

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