Death Fetish

Life isn’t for everyone
I’ve been having suicidal thoughts since I was 8 years old
I remember it clearly
The first time I said “I want to die” like it was a first kiss
I didn’t care about boys and school
I was busy being bullied and witnessing abuse and alcoholism
I’ve felt like an outcast all my life and still do
The only thing I look forward to is death
It’s a consistent feeling every day that will always be in the back of my mind
Life isn’t for everyone and that’s okay
I don’t want to be saved
I don’t want any help
My wish is to be kissed by death and to never wake up again