I tried to pretend to be fine in my last post but I really just think I’m at the edge of the cliff. I’m trying therapy, but honestly I can’t think about anything besides killing myself. I’m giving it till the new year. I’ll give it till then, see if anything helps. But my boyfriend is at the end of his rope with my mental problems even if I put up with his anger shit. I’ll let everyone have one good last Christmas then I’m out. I sincerely have no goals, no motivation, I cannot do this anymore. I can’t pretend to be okay anymore. I can’t pretend to be happy anymore. I can’t pretend that every time I get in my damn car that I don’t want to drive it straight into the wall. I’ll try to see if therapy can do anything, if I change my mind but I sincerely just can’t handle my brain anymore. It’s trying to kill me and it’s succeeding.