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More to the list

by CARLOSPEJUAN

So to recap the list was Dumb, Crazy, Stupid, Retarded, and introducing the newest category UGLY. Apparently I am not worthy of of being selected as a mate. No one has ever wanted me. Idk if anyone ever will. It sucks guys. Now that I’m not depressed or suicidal I feel worthless .-. . Like from a utilitarian point of view I am just worthless. There is no point for me to be in this world anymore other that to not cause harm to those who love me. I think it isn’t fair for me to be here taking up space and time. It isn’t fair for me to e taking up Grindr space so I deleted it, no one hits me up anyways. Besides what am I gonna say? Hey I’m crazy and disabled want to be my boyfriend? So no. I need some time to myself. I need to grow as a person. I need to expand my mind. I need to be better. It sucks that I may never be who I want to be. I feel so sad. But this time there is a reason for my sadness. I am so many things I don’t want to be. I am not so many things I desire and admire. You know what I want? I want what most of us truly want in this page. I want to be happy. Is that possible?

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Virus.Found 9/13/2020 - 3:45 am

Feeling undesirable is really tough. I’ve missed out on my youth feeling trapped and I still am. I mean, who knows.. I don’t want to hit you with the standard bullshit, that happy people say, but I’m sure someone in this universe is going to find you attractive in some way. Even if it’s an alien coming down and declaring their love for you. And no, you don’t take up any space, otherwise others would need to apologize for that as well. And trust me, there are a lot of tools out there that are way worse and SHOULD apologize for their existence.^^ I hope you can grow to being an awesome person so that an individual may find & love you. And hopefully you won’t be feeling so worthless anymore.

OddOneOut 9/13/2020 - 6:36 am

You deserve every positive thing you have in your life right now bud. You are a human being, who I’m guessing (from your previous and current post) is loved, appreciated and fortunate enough to have had some happy memories in your life. Remember, there’s every reason to give up and yet every reason not to give up: IT CAN BE BETTER. And it WILL be better. So many people on this website alone want you to do better, and that most certainly includes me. I’m here, so talk to me if you need, okay?

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