I think I’ve really reached the bounds of existing now. I have nothing to look forward to. Look I know the world already sucked, but now it well and truly sucks. I’m tired of complaining because I know that so many people have it worse than me right now. There’s so much damage that’s been caused in the world and I don’t see an end in sight.
A few weeks ago I was invited to a wow guild, I’m sure the people there seemed friendly enough to some degree, but all in all I’m sure they didn’t want to hear about my misery anymore. I was babbling to a guild member and all of a sudden she told me that she was logging onto a certain character that wasn’t in the guild, turns out she lied and just logged onto an alternate character in the guild and didn’t even bother to tell me.
Anyway I lasted less than a week in the guild, and I ended up leaving. I dislike getting involved with (most) people very much. So that was a small weight off my shoulders.
I don’t bring anything good to people’s lives and I’m well aware of that by now. So, yeah, I actually figured that the best thing to do was to cut nearly everyone out of my life a few months ago. I’m a messed up person. It’s not a mistake that I am.
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Honestly.? Do you ever get tired of your own misery.? This happens with me, every time it gets really bad, I just feel even worse, because I know everyone around me will be miserable too. I’m a huge sharer of my feelings and thoughts and I’m super negative. I’ve made some progress lately but right now something has upset me and I can’t get the fuck up from it and it seems like all I do is complain about it to my friends. I’m sure they are tired of me, even though they don’t admit it.. I just always think: Man, how can you all stay so positive.? This world is f*cked.. I don’t think I can regain happiness ever again. I also hate that person with you, because I know how it feels when people take a route around you.. They lied to you and that’s not okay. If you’re already down and expect people to be your anchor, so you can build yourself up, they shouldn’t find ways to not having to talk to you. But if they do, know: They’re not the right people to talk to. Some people are so sh*t with depressive talk, I wish I had just not said anything at all. But if I don’t talk about that, then there’s nothing else for me to talk about. I guess online gamers would rather play the game instead of playing a psychiatrist, which is kinda understandable. Feel hugged from me.!