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Make it Stop

by Hynin

Let this blood soak in my hands

I’ll take the blade and place it to my neck

How simple is that

Everything is fine, isn’t it?

All it is is anxiety

Or is it?

Let me drown in the blood of my body

What a better way to go

The bones of my mind ache

Emotions are too hard to handle

I know I’m messed up

So what?

Who cares if I understand myself or not

It’s not gonna help

Nothing did

No blade, no person, not the forcing down of emotions

Nothing’s worked.

Who cares?

I need to say something

I need it to make sense

It hasn’t.

I can’t tell if I’m in fantasy or reality

And no one around me knows either?

Who cares?

All of you do

Maybe you’re just saying that.

You’re just saying that.

It’s better when I’m alone.

All expectations fade to the wind.

It’s just me. And I do not judge myself around myself.

But emotions hate me whenever anyone comes near.

My past I hate it.

What it’s done to me I cannot say

Many thoughts I have on it.

None of them are the answer.

Maybe there is no answer.

Who gives a damn?

When I’m dead it won’t matter.

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