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Ruined

by Wisp

Not suicide related

My garden looks like shit. It’s spring here. I’m in a rental. I’ve emailed the landlord about it. There’s a bunch of dead and dormant patches of grass. It has barely rained for weeks. Well sorry I just wanted a roof over mine and mum’s head. I didn’t really give a damn about the garden. Now we’ll prob be evicted over it. Or made to buy new turf. I don’t have enough to buy new turf. This garden is a source of misery for me.
I get a guy to mow the lawn every 3-4 weeks, one part of the lawn is scalped and has yellow stripes on it. He could’ve offered to make the garden look better all the times he’s been here. He’s weeded the garden before but not this time.
Imagine a garden making you feel more suicidal!
Well firstly I should get a hose. I’ve been using a watering can……
I see that quite a bit of the grass around this neighbourhood is dormant. I mean I can only pull out the dead blades, I can’t pull out the roots. Man I’m going to be here forever and ever if I’m going to be pulling out dead grass.
In winter when it was raining all the time the grass was really green.
I’m thinking of ordering the lawn paint I saw online and using that on the garden. I am sick of spending my money on a garden. I’ve had enough of complaining. Why don’t I just disappear already???
WELL AT LEAST THE GRASS WILL BE GREEN IF I USE THE LAWN PAINT, It won’t fix the patches though.

I’ve never looked after a garden before. Anyway, I mean there’s some patches of no grass at all. Just dirt.

Am I paranoid or what?

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9 comments

Wisp 10/10/2020 - 2:19 am

Don’t you just hate renting? Feels really insecure, guess I’ll just stfu and suck it up because I’m not rich!!!
I want to buy things but it’s not going to make my miseryyyyyyyyyyy go away. And a garden. Wow. Never thought I’d feel this terrible OVER A GARDEN.

Mid next year we’re gonna be pushed and helped to get another place, because this is only short term accommodation. How is this helping anyone, apart from getting a roof over someones head? We’re in social housing right now. Real estate agents are a bunch of powermad knobs who won’t rent to anyone except the perfect person. I mean, literally PERFECT.

Well again I should stfu, there are poor and homeless people in this world and all I can do is babble…….

Wisp 10/10/2020 - 2:27 am

I honestly have zero desire to live anymore. No joy, no nothing.
I suppose hearing that the borders here will open late 2021 demotivated me even more.
All I do is bring my mum misery as well if I keep telling her I’d rather be gone. So I’ll just pretend that I don’t want to.
None of us are ever free!~

Wisp 10/10/2020 - 2:29 am

“All I do is spread blight and misery”
“I want to depart”…
“I have sociopathic tendencies and just want out, out, out”……….
Yeah, that’s me….
I spent a couple of hours watering the garden today, not like I have anything better to do with myself. Maybe I’ll hope it will ‘fix’ the grass problem.

Wisp 10/10/2020 - 2:32 am

Video games are boring too, I play WoW but I don’t really enjoy it. Might do a few things and log out. But yeah, I’ve got some games on GoG. A couple of steam as well. I like older retro games (90s, late 80s even)

- 10/10/2020 - 2:58 am

I hop on Red Dead all the time but all it really does is piss me off

Wisp 10/10/2020 - 2:36 am

Why are people so shallow. All people do is seem to flaunt, flaunt, flaunt. Look at me I got a new xxxxx! Great…
Rich people looked upon like g ods. Poorer people are less than dirt.
Consumerism sucks. Sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks……
Life seems to be a competition to see how much $$$$ you can make, how much stuff you have, and yeah, that.
Can I talk? I’ve got four shower gels at the moment!

- 10/10/2020 - 2:57 am

“I’ve got four shower gels at the moment!”

Same

I think this site is heading towards its death throes.

- 10/10/2020 - 3:10 am

I’ll say it again to the mods: Change the layout of this site. Before it was always trolling and arguments and now that you’ve cracked down it’s barely anyone responding. Something about this place. Banish it to the nether realm! Or at least give us the choice to change to a light background. Something.

Wisp 10/10/2020 - 9:02 pm

Yeah kinda agree. I think initially changing the layout so that comments could be seen really killed off the activity here. And to get that activity back is going to be much more of a task than it was to leave the site the way it is.

Trolling and arguments suck. What do I feel like saying, it’s the internet and it’s going to happen, it’s not right, it’s not ok, but sadly it happens.

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