This is my mind’s way of never finding happiness. Robbing precious moments of joy when it should be mine. Always living in a high stressed mood always nervous about the uncertainty in my life. Always wondering what struggle will i face. Anxiety of the next challenge life will give me. Always trying to adapt to survive. Condtioning to the state of this world, to make a living. Always missing my family that has died, wishing i could fix my relationships with my parents. Wish i could fix the things of the past i regret. Regretting make dumb@$$ decisions. But i have learn everything the hard way. My father was never a teacher. Curse my sh!t family.
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Curse with happiness I hope. Yes, your father was a teacher. If nothing else he taught you things that go against your grain so to speak. Been there, done that, been a black sheep, learned the hard way. Fact is lessons learned. Take absolutely everything into consideration before placing blame. Popular saying says to blame the parents. Ok, how did they learn what they did and become who they become…So, in looking at the situation from a perspective of playing house, you being the owner of all the dolls within that house, knowing what you do about each of the dolls, how in the world did that household fail, or not, depending on perspective. We learn and grow from failures and sadness, we then turn those upside down smiles upright having the keys (wisdom) to make things better and go on to teach others. In this you will have learned everything good and bad that has been done was meant to be that way.