This is my mind’s way of never finding happiness. Robbing precious moments of joy when it should be mine. Always living in a high stressed mood always nervous about the uncertainty in my life. Always wondering what struggle will i face. Anxiety of the next challenge life will give me. Always trying to adapt to survive. Condtioning to the state of this world, to make a living. Always missing my family that has died, wishing i could fix my relationships with my parents. Wish i could fix the things of the past i regret. Regretting make dumb@$$ decisions. But i have learn everything the hard way. My father was never a teacher. Curse my sh!t family.