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Deadly Things

by Abnormal.Thoughts

I imagine I’m not alone in this but regardless of my mood or what is going on, I find myself thinking of how something might kill me, not in a paranoid way of being scared, but driven by a curiosity.

I recently read about a plant referred to as the suicide plant because the pain from touching it is supposed to be so bad that the victims would rather kill themselves than endure through it, to the point that horses even throw themselves off of cliffs. I wonder if that pain would be enough to make me do something drastic.

I have a small jar of mercury sitting around, this liquid metal is fascinating to play with; I wonder what it would be like to try and hold it in my mouth or if it would slip down my throat without swallowing. Though I’m pretty sure I don’t want to die that way.

I see an ad for some medication which has this list of warnings as always, this one mixed with some herb can cause your heart rate to drop dangerously low, how can I get my hands on that, it sounds peaceful.

I just take a walk and I consider whether a semi could hit me or if a cliff is high enough.

A little while ago I had a toothache and took one 10mg oxi which dropped my heart rate to the high 30 bpm range and just made me go to sleep, is that how an overdose might go because that’s not so bad.

I put a lot of thought into my chosen method because I want it to be peaceful, I want to believe it will work, and I thought it would be easy. Spoiler, goodbye is never easy.

Sorry about this random post. Lol

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3 comments

Rainwatch 11/23/2020 - 9:24 am

I remember being fascinated by mercury in chemistry class over 20 years ago, a jar was handed around for the class to view, it looked like liquid initially but on closer inspection it was like microscopic steel ball bearings.

thedevilisclose 11/24/2020 - 1:07 pm

this sounds exactly like something i would have written.
hugs

Idfk anymore, I'm just here I guess 11/24/2020 - 5:00 pm

The goal for now is to save up enough money to move to Illinois and get legal cannabis. From there, is that doesn’t help me, it’s Benzodiazepines and Niagara Falls. I almost jumped off a balcony on them once, due to one of the side effects being suicidal impulses, and they say that some people with no intent of suicide jump off of Niagara Falls on their own. Because the lull of the water is so mesmerizing…

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