It’s the first post of today, it seems late… it’s cold and lonely… I’m too scared to go back to work, i can do the job fairly well and they like me but it’s so much stress i get physically sick just thinking i have to go in. I can’t sleep because I’m afraid of being late, the hours are brutal too midnight to 10 or 11. Idk why it’s so terrifying for me it feels like anything else would be easier and i want to just quit but at the same time i have people who need me there at least to give them time to replace me but like I said it’s so terrifying for me idk what to do. I just want a low stress job where I have minimal contact with people, but when I’m almost 30 and don’t even have my ged yet my options are limited. That’s just one aspect and I’ve left out allot…but I just want to end it all.
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That sick feeling of not wanting to go to work, I feel that too, and it sucks because I know I’m never going to find a job that is as flexible or pays what my current one does. Once I would have jumped ship and found a new job, never letting myself go on hating work but responsibility is haunting me so I can’t. I’m sorry you’re feeling that way, maybe you can find another job that you don’t dread.
About 6 mths ago I was really struggling with trying to sleep. I’d start thinking about some of the dumb mistakes I’ve made that changed my life. The times I’ve helped people only to get burned by those same people and other issues.
I think our brains are our most powerful tool and I put it to good use. I realized how critical it was that I got some proper sleep. Over time I did manage to get my thoughts under control and to let go of things I cannot change. Now my issue is simply going to bed on time, so I can work on becoming self-employed.
I recall when I first got my current job about a year ago, I’m a night owl and we had early training classes. Like you I was scared of being late and a few times it kept me up and I only managed to get a few hours sleep sometimes less. It was brutal going in on so little sleep and have to function all day then drive yourself home…but I pulled it off.
Luckily I was able to get late hours which matched my propensity to be up late. I’ll add at my last job, after the first few years, I finally settled into a rhythm and it totally felt like I was in prison, every day felt the same, I was going stir-crazy. Fortunately I was able to leave and take a break and then I got this new job I’m at now.
You might want to try to focus on what’s causing you this stress and as others suggested maybe find a less stressful job if you can. That’s essentially what I did, though I’m in the same field, the work I do is still annoying but definitely easier than before. But this is really just a means to pay my bills, my real goal is to get self-employed and then I’ll be earning quite a lot more than I am now but that’s going to take time.
It helps to have other goals to strive towards. Some people are completely happy staying in a routine job, getting mediocre pay. Others like me always want to be improving and getting ‘higher’ in life.
As for being late, set 2 alarms so you know you’ll always wake up. Give yourself an extra hour to get ready. Also don’t cheat your sleep. I learned the hard way that sleep is as important to your body as food. I still screw up now and then but I try to get at least 7-8 hrs a night though I prefer 9-10 if I can get it.
Regarding a low-stress job, they exist! You just have to look for them. I almost went back to my last pressure-cooker job, but I searched instead for a better, easier one was one of the best moves I’ve made.
Though I wish I could be more disciplined and work on the goal I set out for myself, as they say sometimes you can be your own worst enemy and I admit I’ve been that for a while but I’m improving.