It happened again. It always happens. No matter what it always happens. The small parts of my mind that hold some tiny hope that things will be different are slowly dwindling. I fucked it up again. I’m tired of it. I’m so tired. Tired of being dead weight. Tired of being nothing. I will never be anything. My mind is screaming at me to go ahead and do it. Above all else I just feel sad and angry. Angry that I couldn’t be anything else. Why does it always happen. Why. I’m so small and scared and everything is so big and complicated. I hate this. I hate everything.