It Happened Again

It happened again. It always happens. No matter what it always happens. The small parts of my mind that hold some tiny hope that things will be different are slowly dwindling. I fucked it up again. I’m tired of it. I’m so tired. Tired of being dead weight. Tired of being nothing. I will never be anything. My mind is screaming at me to go ahead and do it. Above all else I just feel sad and angry. Angry that I couldn’t be anything else. Why does it always happen. Why. I’m so small and scared and everything is so big and complicated. I hate this. I hate everything.