It takes an ocean not to break

I am falling apart and it is becoming more and more difficult to keep it together. I am in an immense amount of pain mentally, emotionally and physically. I think about how being dead will stop all of this, but I don’t want to die. But at the same time I’m incredibly weak and suffering right now. This hurts, it hurts equally I’d be lying if I said it didn’t. I want to live but I am in agony and it’s hard to keep it together. I want a little bit of relief and peace and the fact that I can’t seem to get that is driving me insane. It all hurts so much it’s hard not to break and crumble to the floor.