I once learned that self-hurt habits usually diminish as we grow. I always thought that the reason people stop cutting themselves was that they become mature and have better ways to cope with problems. I was wrong. I stopped mutilating my skin as I became an adult, but not because I was a better man. It was just that the depressed feelings became inherent and I felt so numb I couldn’t even hurt myself.
I live so hard everyday. Once in a while, I’ll see what my friends are up to and see that everyone else is enjoying their life. They go traveling with their friends, go on a date with their boyfriend or girlfriend or eat in somewhere fancy while I’m at home studying and doing work alone. SNS is a devil. Whoever said that interaction is key to happiness is wrong. SNS like Instagram and Facebook only makes me realize how lonely and unworthy my life has been.
I hate this, you know? I have no meaning in life. My family will live on without me and I don’t have friends. I’m utterly alone.
I feel so numb. I think I’ll disappear soon.