it feels like everyone is leaving me. i don’t feel comfortable talking to my closest friends or even my own girlfriend about my own mind. I’ve had a mate of just a year now and i’m scared were drifting. We don’t talk much as we did and ik its stupid to be so worried when we’ve been friends for a year, but it was the first person i met i could relate to, he dressed similarly to me so i didn’t feel judged either, we have same music taste and we both have mental struggles. We even used to hang out more. I’ve had 2 friends of over 7 years and i can’t talk to them about my problems, a girlfriend of 2 years too, same issue. They speak to me fine about their issues, but i can’t do the same, why? I just don’t feel comfortable, but i want to so i can go to my close ones for help. I fucking hate my mind, i’ve been living in my past for so long. Since 2018 i’ve been wanting to live in 2016 again. Everything was better for me in my life. I had friends i could speak to about anything and we’d hang out constantly. Maybe my problem is that i just can’t come to terms with people move on, friends leave and eventually you’ll only have yourself. I don’t want to feel like this anymore, i contemplate ending it constantly. I’m just not a strong person
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I’ve had a friend at the start of the year like that, but now I don’t. I ended it and it makes me feel better. Some people just lose interest in another. Unfortunately I’m never the person to lose interest, they mostly do.. How I noticed less caring from that friend: They stopped asking me, how I am. We talked everyday. I want to go back to that time too… It doesn’t feel like 4 years went by.
I suppose you’re just scared of opening up to them, because of how they’ll react.? Because once you do, you’ll talk more and more about it after some time it becomes a habit. And you don’t want to upset them constantly.. You’ll have to figure that out for yourself, I don’t know your reasons. Maybe you’ll even meet someone new, that you can ‘unload’ this on and don’t even have to tell them. I hope your friendship doesn’t end like mine did. We had the same music taste too, which is rare. Take care.!
Thanks for replying and sharing your opinion and experience. I messaged the same friend earlier today after I wrote this post. I asked him how he was and what’s been going on. The conversation lasted about 2 minutes, he didn’t seem interested to talk. It feels like it’s always me messaging him or asking how he is, checking up on him. I’m not sure if it’s just an unintentional thing he does, but it seems he never seems to think about how i could be, as a close mate so I thought. He’s usually the person I can ‘unload’ my thoughts on and he’ll do the same back, but scrolling through our past messages it seems I’m getting a vibe maybe he doesn’t wanna talk a lot anymore. My replies are so long and his so short. I don’t want our friendship to drift, he’s a great friend to talk to and hang out with, it just sucks he doesn’t show he cares as equally I do for mates or asks to hang out. With everyone else, I think you’re right. I have trouble opening up, I don’t think I wanna constantly talk to them about my stuff and for it to become a main topic of conversation half the time. I think I just prefer talking to a single person that I can relate to, but I feel guilty because I should be talking to my girlfriend about it and letting her help, but I can’t. I won’t let myself because I don’t want her to see how I’m really feeling. I feel like I should be the ‘man’ and help her and forget about my worries. Thanks for taking time to read and reply though, it means a lot
I honestly wouldn’t stick around that friend for much longer. I mean, who knows. Maybe they’ve got something going on right now. But don’t wait forever to let them figure it out, if that bothers you. I cut the contact to anyone that has been drifting off a while, because most of the times I don’t see that changing. Some people are okay with just a 2-min talk, but I have to realize that I’m not. And there are people the same like me. Those people can just have a short convo with each other honestly. 😛 Don’t feel like you have to be the part in the relationship, that has to be the man. If you’re more sensual than other guys, that’s actually a plus and she should appreciate that.^^ But I guess that’s big of you, wanting to protect the people you love rather than crush them with their personal stuff. I sometimes wish I could hold back much more. It’s no problem.! We have to have each other’s back (:
Yeah, i don’t think i’m going to message him much anymore and see if maybe he’s just in a bad place himself and let him talk to me if he wants a conversation. I’m not much of a 2min chat person either tbh, i like conversation. Yeah, i do too. I wish i could just hold back my emotions and don’t need to suppress it onto someone or something, but i can’t hold back. I just feel more bad about not telling my girlfriend about things