it’s 2021

it’s been so long since I posted here

Im 19 now, I dropped out- listen, university ISNT for everyone. Especially if you’re rushing things.

my dad is back in Honduras again, I mean I’m happy about that at least. I’m afraid he’ll come back.. I know he will.

to hurt us.

im doing.. okay? I guess, I don’t know how to put it, i role play as ponies, My Little Pony OCS, they’re fun actually. I used to role play before, but I drifted away after I turned 15… then im back in it again. Oh how the world goes in a circle.

i get paid with unemployment money, I mean it’s not a lot, hahah America. but I feel.. not happy? I just.. feel safe.

I feel safe he’s not gonna grab my neck and choke me out.

I feel safe.. calmer..

Im not saying my depression and suicidal thoughts are gone, nah.

They’re still there. I always hear them, that I’m not good enough, or I’m a piece of garbage. Hah.

I go “Ay Naku!” Everytime i self deprecate. It’s terrible.

But sometimes I’m happy where I am, my art has improved so much over the years, and I’ve grown as a person to help my friends. Sure I have my panic attacks, anxiety attacks, mental breakdown, trauma… but I know things will get better. I just have to keep living.

I hope you guys can all too. It’s hard, huh?

Yeah..