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by Alyce Lovell

“Unhappy is he to whom the memories of childhood bring only fear and sadness.”

-H. P. Lovecraft, “The Outsider”

All throughout my life, I have felt blinded… betrayed; by who? I don’t know. I felt like I could not see the bigger picture, but it turned out that I did not have a voice. I could not speak my mind without feeling tired; and then… falling asleep. I would wake up feeling confused and dazed; not yet ready to challenge the world again. I felt like there was nothing left for me here anymore; and there’s still nothing… I have to ignore hope… and embrace the end. It’s terrifying. To have these thoughts race throughout my mind; and to just accept them. Why? Why accept them? or anything. I’m praying for the end; so I can no longer experience those painful moment anymore. We can’t go on. Just to see the greater story. I lost everything; and I never got to see the other side. Please, never again.


Alyce M. Lovell


Below is something I left for everyone (it’s incomplete, sadly).




It’s okay, I’ve tried my best; I need to sleep again soon. Please be the last time I see this place… this world… this nightmare. Please, never again.

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