I’m back on here. I thought i was doing better than i was 2 weeks ago, but in reality i’m not. I finally got diagnosed with depression 5 days ago. i already knew that i had it but i guess it’s a good thing i officially know. I just feel so tired. None of my hobbies make me happy anymore, i don’t understand why. I finally started cleaning my room but i don’t want to finish it, that feels like too much work. I still can’t go a day without thinking about death or suicide. I want to die the only reason i haven’t gone through with it is because i dont want someone to have to find my body. anytime i think of my future i just think about how i will kill myself once i live alone. i can call 911 before i do it and i won’t have to worry about anyone finding me that’s not them. I want to be gone. I don’t want to live past 18. I think i am trans and it all just feels to hard. I’m thinking about texting my parents a long thing about how much i want to kill myself then maybe i could get more help. go to the hospital or something. I want to get better and have tried for years, but every time i feel okay i end up back where i started. I never am doing good and i’m just so tired of it. im so tired of trying. I just want to be dead.