Not suicide related
I’m going to try and sell a few things I have, even though I don’t have much, most things just sit there and collect dust. Not easy trying to sell things in a small town, even items that people would really want. I don’t really want to do postage because there’s a risk of being scammed. If I was going to post things I’d only do bank transfer, but lots of scammers use this so…. yeah, good luck there (the buyer would probably end up thinking that I’m the scammer!). I was only just recently scammed via bank transfer myself, buyer told a lie about his paypal account and I fell for it, and yeah that was it.
I really feel like giving up my studies. I’ve already uploaded one assignment in the wrong place, teacher said she was going to fix it, but nothing yet, maybe she forgot, or maybe she just laughed. I also started another assignment that’s actually due in 2 weeks. And some of the assignments involve talking to others online through webcam :\ I’m really mentally foggy lately, and I spend alot of time in bed (yeah I still have that luxury for now). I bought some art supplies, good quality ones too so they’ll probably last me a while. Sadly I don’t feel very creative anymore.
Price of most things has gone up, and I’m worried about hyperinflation in the future ($200 loaf of bread, anyone?). I prefer to stay at home when I can for the most part. I mean sometimes I’ll go out with mum though. I have little desire to deal with people. I no longer live for the future. I no longer care. I’m done with life and merely existing for my mum now.
I cannot be in this world anymore. We (me and the world) are not compatible! It’s over. I’ve made a boatload of mistakes too. If I could go back in time I’d wish I didn’t gamble so much away and I wish that I could’ve actually helped my ex instead of being so damn passive. I had the chance to make his life better but I never really spoke up. I thought it was his responsibility to make his own life better at the time. But he’s miserable inside, well he’s got something I don’t and that is a brain. And useful skills that I don’t and never will have. His life was in shambles when I saw him in real life a couple of years ago.
Oh, and other mistakes as well. Yeah… done… yeah, I really feel like I’m done.