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Mentally and Physically Exhausting

by just_a_person

For some reason, I have so much anger and fury in me that I just can’t shake off. Angry at my parents, angry at my sisters, angry at my friends, but mostly, angry at myself. Why can’t I just be stable when so many other people in the world could do that? Why do we all have to be suffering this much? Now, I’m a Muslim so I believe that Allah (that’s what we call God) doesn’t give a person more than what they could handle in life but this is all so exhausting and just drowning (depression, anxiety, my eating disorder, and phonophobia), it’s like I can’t do it anymore. I prayed so many nights (still do) that I wouldn’t wake up in the morning and when I do, the first thing I think is, “fuck, I’m alive.” (That’s probably a bit twisted but at this point, who cares right?)


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Vukovar woman 2/23/2021 - 12:00 pm

My first thoughts in the morning are always the worst, too.

Rainwatch 2/23/2021 - 12:14 pm

Same. The minute I wake up ” how am I gonna get through 2day without ending it” is the dominant thought.

Mf 2/24/2021 - 4:03 am

Yup, mornings are awful (not always for me, but pretty often). It’s when the reality that you’re going to have to go through everything again hits you. I do have to point out that you shouldn’t be angry at yourself for not being able to be stable, you have plenty of things in your hands and the fact that you’re trying is already a lot.

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